‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 8: Whodunit?

In the back of her carriage, Melanie Wharton ran an interested eye through the political news in the Times. Sylvia Treadway, was running for office again, and this time, a bigger seat than the condo board. Suddenly, they halted. “We’re here,” Kevin, her stagecoach driver, said. Melanie took a deep breath, opened the door and stepped outside. “It’s the Berserkshires, all right.” 

It was close to the holidays, so an invitation to Mr. Featherby’s without their families seemed strange. But it didn’t hold back any of the women from showing up—none of them would miss a dinner party and a great cocktail. Not even Tammy Temperance, leader of the Prohibition Party. But she had other plans in mind…she was going to kill Wilfred the assistant in order to save Mr. Featherby. So she poisoned his drink and watched him writhe on the floor as the guests munched on fritters. As for Mr. Featherby, it was too late: As in, he was dead…and no one really cared by this point about the murder mystery dinner because the ladies were hungry, and the fake butler was not being a good butler (maybe that’s because they gave him too many parts! A cop, too? C’mon).  

As Tammy Temperance/Dorinda said, “That was fun and different, but now we’re done.”

But there was one supposed crime that did matter: 

Adam. With the camera. Anywhere but Puerto Rico. 

Perhaps it was the makeup turban or maybe the Trump Chia Pet, but Dorinda was extra giddy, like Elaine Benes on peach schnapps, and could not keep a secret. “Yeah,” she told Carole, “Bethenny’s pissed cuz Adam wanted to be paid.” This was news to Carole. So when Dorinda asks Bethenny and Carole at the murder dinner whether they feel tension, it’s a loaded gun (in the dining room, with Tammy Temperance). 

The conversation explodes. There is a lot of tension between Bethenny and Carole. The kind of tension between two very good friends who are experiencing a dip in their relationship from, probably, some miscommunication and/or hurtful ignorance that should/could be mended over with a thorough one-on-one talk. But no, instead, we’re going to do this on the world’s stage in flapper costumes.

It’s painful to watch Carole have this out-of-body experience, like Are you seriously going to do this with me? Carole’s seen Bethenny’s beast in action before, of course. But it’s never been directed at her. So to watch this full-blown argument resting purely on semantics (you can call someone a puppet without saying it explicitly, Bethennny) and micro-details is to watch just how precisely Bethenny dismantles her own relationships. “You’re freaking me out,” Bethenny gaslights Carole. “Does the truth freak you out?” Carole responds. Either Aaron Sorkin is whispering in her earpiece, or Carole’s not a pushover who smokes now. It’s the latter. Good for you, Carole. 

There were lots of crimes committed in this episode—and offstage by a one Adam Kenworthy. But for us, the real crime was a three-parter, and it has nothing to do with Bethenny and Carole. The judge views the crimes as follows:

1. It is unlawful for the butler to just suddenly turn into the cop, no matter how far out of the city we are or how hard it is to book murder mystery actors. 

2. It is unlawful that, apparently, the person who books the party gets to be the one who did the murder. That’s just obvious and not fun!

3. It is unlawful how little Maria Antipasta, Jeanne Ménageand even Nellie Neighbors were utilized seeing that they really got into characters and dare I say, “brought it.” And lets be honest, Maria Antipasta probably didn’t give her pets away…she probably ran out of dog food.  

Mystery solved. (The pet one, not the Bethenny/Carole one.)

‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 1
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 2
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 3
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 4
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 5
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 6
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 7

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