In this chapter of the Proustian epic we call The Real Housewives of New York, we finally get a little perspective. We take a step back so we can see all the moving parts and take stock of what’s truly what. This doesn’t just apply to the gals, but to us at home, too. (We’ll get to it.)
First, we’re back where we left off: Puerto Rico. And it’s amazing. It’s amazing that this show is the vehicle in which we are learning about the country’s devastation. Not just “Oh, there was a hurricane and there’s no electricity,” but “Oh, the water swelled down the mountain sweeping entire homes, leaving moldy two-by-fours and metal frames for families to sleep under because they have nowhere else to go.” It’s amazing that a show, the one about which your dad utters, “What is this crap?” when he walks into the room as he hears middle-aged women squawking at each other across the dinner table, is the first and final access point for Bravo viewers into the crisis (#ThisIsaCrisis) that is Puerto Rico. It’s beyond words. It’s wonderful and strange, and honestly? #BethennyFrankel2020
Just as our perspective altered after seeing Bethenny and crew visit the island, Dorinda’s did, too. She even said she’d been “humbled.” This is the first instance in all of celebrity that a person used the term “humbled” without accepting an award, and it was finally appropriate. You are not humbled by an academy of octogenarians. You are humbled by the forces of nature and its capacity to destroy everything you thought you could build on it. You are humbled by an insert of a cute little doggie with a limp. (Did anyone else catch that guy???) Let’s just say we think Richard would be proud of Dorinda’s word choice.
Back in New York, or Long Island, wherever Sonja and Ramona are headed to in a stretch limo, the Bobbsey Twins seem to have mended their relationship. With a little time and little perspective, they realized that nothing—not even sitting silently as another woman screams in your best friend’s ear, “Your husband left you. Mine died!!!”—is worth losing a friend over…specifically a friend you take to Great Neck to try on mink coats while eating salmon on Ritz crackers and sexually harassing a man they call Steven Dann.
At their group dinner, Bethenny, recharged on good deeds, is ready to take Tinsley down a peg for being rude to Sonja (which is just pretense for Tinsley stealing Bethenny’s best friend). What Bethenny doesn’t realize is that Tinsley has no peg lower to go. Tinsley instantly agrees with Bethenny that she was at her bottom before meeting Sonja. And Bethenny so kindly reminds her, “No, you were emotionally and socially at the bottom.” To which Tinsley nods in agreement, “Yes, and socially.”
And then Bethenny locks her target on Carole. In the military these are called combat exercises. On Housewives, this is Bravo bootcamp, and Bethenny is the drill sergeant, calling Carole a shell of women who does the bidding for whoever’s sitting next to her at the time. Carole brushes it all off. At least Bethenny didn’t call her a puppet…because to be a puppet would be crossing the line.
We’ve been wondering where this anger is coming from, and now, taking a few steps back, we can see what’s really going on between Bethenny and Carole. It’s not Tinsley. It’s Adam. Bethenny called Adam out for being “an operator” for requesting compensation to photograph Bethenny’s relief help. We’re feeling very team Bethenny right now (new and strange territory for us), so for now we’ll just leave it as this: If Bethenny feels icky about it, we do, too.
But of all these moments offering up perspective on relationships and geopolitical crises, there was one that truly changed our chemical makeup. It shifted every single atomic particle ever so slightly, and we cannot say for certain we are the woman we were before we watched Luann sing “Happy Birthday” to Ben the cabaret director. You see, for years, nay, perhaps a decade, we pointed and laughed at Lu for her attempts at singing. And by no means were her attempts ever good. But man, she walked into Barry Manilow’s range and owned it. Sure, it’s so low that only dogs can hear it, but it wasn’t horrible. It was kinda good. We kinda enjoyed it. We are…truly humbled.
One last thing: The murder mystery dinner at “Mr. Featherby’s mansion” is going to be exquisite theater for us. We know this solely because of how Sonja reacted to hearing the made-up name “Mr. Featherby”; her facial reaction said: “Oy, Mortimer Featherby? We used to sleep together!”
See you in the Berkshires.
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 1
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 2
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 3
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 4
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 5
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 6