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‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 6: BEMA (Bethenny Emergency Management Agency)

The mission: Smuggle a pleather bag with $125K into Puerto Rico.

The crew: The Mastermind (Bethenny), The Warehouse Guy (the real estate dude-turned-warehouse guy), The Hot Guy (Omar) and The Drunk (Dorinda).

The problem: Dorinda, obviously. 

It’s your typical Ocean’s 11–esque heist, except this time, they’re doing good. They’re bringing awareness to the devastation in Puerto Rico by filming the mission, and they’re also physically bringing things (see: bag of money) to people who terribly need them.  

Sure, this has all the makings of a CNN special with Anderson Cooper where we watch, learn and cry a bit. But this is Bravo, and these are the housewives. Of course Dorinda got drunk by 7 p.m., questioned the existence of two (count ’em) entire countries and used the word “home front” so many times I thought I was watching a Ken Burns World War II documentary. 

And yet, perhaps Bravo is doing something more powerful than any CNN, Vice or National Geo doc could: It’s using Dorinda as the American metaphor. Here’s a woman who probably once heard her “slightly powerful” now-deceased husband mutter something slightly intelligent about rebuilding infrastructure and now sits down with a group of kind-hearted, hard-working do-gooders and regurgitates eugenic garbage to sound smart and feel powerful. This is a woman whose personal loss is not small but still can’t see the bigger picture. This is a woman who is feeling so hopeless in her own life, she can’t help but question the point of bringing hope to others. Why should they get to rebuild if she can’t?

It’s. Dark. Stuff.  

Bethenny’s bothered me before, but honestly: Thank God for this woman. She is our miracle FEMA, the emergency management we are in such dire need of. She is BEMA. The Skinny Girl has found a bigger purpose, and it really is a purpose. We need her to hit us over the head that #THISISACRISIS, and it’s only continuing to unfold.

Bethenny’s handling of Dorinda after the dinner incident and on the plane was spot on. She’s blunt (i.e. “You’re a drunk.”), but she’s compassionate and funny (i.e. “You have more of a chance of your husband walking through the door than Sonja.”). And while Dorinda skirts around the drinking, she knows the core of her anger is from feeling like she’s moving backward. She was once a loving wife and mother on the up-and-up, and now she’s sleeping with John. If she has to sleep with John, all of Puerto Rico should have to sleep with John. Let’s take a second to remind ourselves that bettering the lives of others doesn’t mean worsening yours. 

And yet, Dorinda’s not completely off. There are definitely some problems on the “home front” that could use some attention. For instance, I wouldn’t mind seeing BEMA interject on Sonja’s townhouse staging, or, uh, her sexual harassment problem? (I’m just waiting for the explosive NY Times report: “The Harvey Weinstein of the Jitney.”) This season will 100 percent end with a Shyamalanian twist: Sonja has no housekeeper, which is why the dog poop just keeps piling up. 

I also wouldn’t have minded BEMA coming to my aid when I dined at the very same restaurant Lu and her mother daughter ate at where I truly thought the sommelier was going to murder me for going for the cheapest bottle of wine. I’m talking full-on death stare while pointing the corkscrew near my throat—that’s New York, baby!

And most importantly Carole needs BEMA to help her with her Adam problem. But I’m just not sure BEMA is coming. 

This Season:
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 1
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 2
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 3
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 4
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 5

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