“Speaking of Palm Beach…Luann got arrested in Palm Beach. Did ya hear?” said everyone this episode.
Responds Kevin, Bethenny’s driver/ambassador of the everyman, “Mmhm.” Pause, “Wanna get out here? Or should I pull up?”
We get it. Lu got arrested in Palm Beach, Florida. But we want the action, not everyone’s reactions to something that mostly happened off screen. We want her attorney’s take on the matter. We want to hear what the judge thought of Lu’s very West Palm Beach outfit at her arraignment (please see Tinsley Mortimer’s explainer piece on the difference between Palm Beach and West Palm Beach and convince me she could have pulled the words “anachronistic,” “scion” or even “Intracoastal Highway” out of her head). We want an Andy Cohen sit-down with the arresting officer. We want the juiiiice!!!
Alas, the juice we did not get. So instead we’ll pick apart the things we did.
#1 Carole is rude at restaurants.
First we see the whole thing with the eggs two ways (one of them being hard-boiled…in a nice brunch spot? Rude). Then, tonight, after the server asks what she can get them, Carole responds with, “Bread, first of all.” CAROLE. BREAD? Your server probably assumed, “The Housewives are shooting, so I will be nice and not bring bread because these women hate bread. Well, they love it, but they hate that it breaks down into sugar and makes them fat, and Carole’s brand this season is that she’s too skinny to give blood. Yes, better not start off on the wrong foot and bring bread.” Ya know what, Carole? Treat each server as if they were Adam—with blind devotion.
#2 A brand named “Skinnygirl” is inherently not inclusive.
While I commend Bethenny for including a diverse lineup of women to model her jeans, she’s patting herself on the back a little too much. The Skinnygirl empire was built on the backs of flat asses and huge boobs. Skinnygirl and body diversity are two diametrically opposed things. You can’t glorify the one type of female body that already benefits from our culture’s standards without bringing down others. That said, offering a range of sizes is nice. Our entire culture, however, is not. And that is not Bethenny’s fault (entirely).
#3 A chickpea and garbanzo walk into a hotel apartment…
The two peas in the pod, Tinsley and Sonja, are back together, and it honestly feels wonderful. While it’s fun to watch people fight, witnessing Tinsley shower Sonja in gifts and laugh away their truly horrible existence of living together last season was delightful. I’d rather see these two get along than fight. And, psst: They’re so much more enjoyable than Sonja and Ramona. Also, how does Tins afford this? Do I smell Coupon Cabin money?
#4 Sonja is fun, but she needs help.
Despite receiving a new robe and Louis Vuitton overnighter, Sonja is not OK. Sure, she’s in good spirits, but she’s wackier than ever. There’s absolutely no reason her canopy bed should be covered in plastic like Dexter decorated the place—and don’t tell me dust or mites. She also has no food and doesn’t understand what being vegan means, going ham on the basically breathing clams and oysters. Sonja is one step away from becoming that woman who knows the Hoarders camera crew is coming over and still says, “Oh, sorry I would’ve cleaned up if I realized I was having company,” while sweeping aside a flattened, dead cat so she can open the door.
#5 I’d give up my vegan-ness for that raw bar, too.
#6 Somebody needs to ask Kevin how he’s doing.
And that somebody is Bethenny.
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 1
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 2
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 3
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 4
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 5
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 6
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 7
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 8
‘The Real Housewives of New York’ Season 10 Episode 9