32 Classic Christmas Foods, Ranked from Ho-Ho-Horrible to Fa-La-La-Fabulous
The holidays can't come soon enough. So, to usher in the most wonderful time of year (like, right now), we're skipping over Thanksgiving and focusing on Christmas food. Specifically, these 32 dishes, ranked from basically intolerable to straight-up divine. Now, let’s find out how your favorite holiday eats fared.
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32. Fruitcake
Less like cake, more like a doorstop.
31. Figgy Pudding
TBH, we want nothing to do with a dome-shaped dessert that doesn't ooze molten chocolate.
30. Ribbon Candy
We can't afford to crack our teeth on these—too many better things to eat.
29. Salad (of any kind)
Listen, we have nothing against greens here and there. But on Christmas? What is this, amateur hour?
28. Boiled Carrots
Unacceptable for those between the ages of 11 months and 97 years.
27. Mince Pie
Fun fact: "Mincemeat" isn't meat at all, but a mix of dried fruits and spices. Fun fact aside, we're not chomping at the bit to taste this British delicacy.
25. Eggnog-Flavored Baked Goods
Of all the holiday flavors to infuse cookies and yogurt and keto protein bars with, you chose eggnog? Nice try, supermarket. Nice try.
24. Canned Yams
PSA: Yams and sweet potatoes are not the same.
23. Mixed Nuts
Two things we should all get over: these and crystal-cut bowls. The only way we're even looking at mixed nuts on Christmas is if they're on a cheese board.
22. Yule Log
Sure, it's basically just chocolate spongecake. But it's not doing itself any favors with that name.
21. Eggnog
Festive, but an acquired taste. We'll give credit where credit is due: Booze helps.
20. Candy Canes
Unless it’s bark-ified, they're more of a decorative obligation than anything.
19. Ham
The most polarizing of all the meats. We’re gonna give it a solid ehhh.
18. Gingerbread Men
Satisfactory, but way overplayed. (They are pretty darn cute, though.)
17. Turkey
Fair pick, but a little redundant so soon after Thanksgiving.
16. Stuffing
See above.
15. Canned Cranberry Sauce
It's better than homemade. (There, we said it.) But we're still not sure if we really love cranberry sauce…or just the nostalgia of it.
14. M&Ms Meant for the Gingerbread House
Oops, we ate the doorknob. And the shingles...
13. Dinner Rolls
Like that actress who always plays the best friend whose name you can never remember: lovable and reliable.
12. Coquito
Eggnog's coconut-y (and far superior) cousin. Bring on the spiced rum, amigas.
11. Green Bean Casserole
Fried onions from a can never cease to delight (even if we eat them for an entire month straight).
9. Pheasant
Oh, you fancy, huh?
8. Pecan Pie
Gooey filling, flaky pie crust and sugared nuts—so worth the future cavities.
7. Roast Beef
Turkey who? Sorry, we were distracted by this tender main's herb-crusted exterior. It never fails to impress (and it's way less fussy than a whole bird).
6. Fudge
Chocolate, vanilla, caramel. We're not picky when it comes to this decadent dessert.
5. Gravy
Dare we say it's almost tastier than what goes underneath it?
4. Hot Cocoa
It's sweet, creamy, comforting and tastes like childhood. Pass the sugar cookies so we can get to dunking.
3. Roasted Potatoes
Potatoes cooked in fat for hours. 'Nuff said.
2. Mashed Potatoes
Yeah, we ranked potatoes back to back. Deal with it.
1. Peppermint Bark
Give us the peppermint tree. In fact, give us the whole damn forest. Bow down to the reigning king.
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