The Definitive Ranking of All the Classic Christmas Foods
From “give me more” to “never again”
Are you finally getting over that stuffed feeling from Thanksgiving? Good, then it’s time to talk Christmas food. Specifically, these 27 dishes, ranked from most delicious to basically intolerable.
1. Peppermint bark
In fact, give us the whole forest. This is the reigning king of all the holiday foods.
2. Roasted potatoes
Potatoes cooked in fat for hours. 'Nuff said.
3. Mashed potatoes
But only if drenched in similar amounts of fat as previously ranked potatoes. And yeah, we put potatoes back to back. Deal with it.
4. Gravy
Dare we say almost better than what goes underneath it?
5. Pecan pie
Worth the seven cavities.
6. Fudge
Worth the seven pounds.
7. Pheasant
Oh, you fancy, huh?
8. Dinner rolls
Like that actress who always plays the best friend and whose name you can never remember: lovable and reliable.
9. Brie cheese with literally anything
Apples? Great. Jam? Awesome. Old tires? We’d try it.
10. Green bean casserole
Fried onions from a can never cease to delight. Even if we eat it for an entire month straight.
11. The M&Ms meant for decorating the gingerbread house
Oops, we ate the doorknob.
12. Canned cranberry sauce
Better than homemade. (There, we said it.) But still never really sure if we love love it…or just love the idea of it.
13. Ham
The most polarizing of all the meats. We’re gonna give it a solid ehhh.
14. Turkey
Fair pick, but a little played out so soon after Thanksgiving.
15. Stuffing
See above.
16. Gingerbread men
Satisfactory.
17. Canned yams
Probably not even yams.
18. Candy canes
Unless it’s bark-ified, it’s more of a decorative obligation than anything.
19. Mixed nuts
Two things we should all get over: these and crystal-cut bowls.
20. Yule log
Not doing itself any favors with that name.
21. Eggnog
Festive*.
(*Gross)
22. Eggnog-flavored baked goods
Nice try…
23. Boiled carrots
Unacceptable for those between the ages of 11 months and 97 years.
24. Biscotti
Not a cookie.
25. Fruitcake
Not a cake.
26. Ribbon candy
Not a candy.
27. Salad (of any kind)
What is this, amateur hour?