22 Things Only Introverts Understand
Like sacred alone time and avoiding people in the grocery store
Extroverts: We adore your unbridled enthusiasm, boundless energy and ability to socialize with a houseplant. It’s inspiring. Also: exhausting. So, while we think you’re great, we wish you got us a little bit better. Here, 22 things that only true-blue introverts understand. Read on (in silence, of course).
1. That we can spend an entire evening with our nine best friends…and still count down the minutes until we get to go home to watch New Girl in peace.
2. The sweet relief that is somebody else canceling dinner plans.
3. That a true soulmate understands not to ask us how our day was because NO MORE TALKING PLEASE.
4. And that the phrase “what are you thinking?” actually means “your silence is making me uncomfortable.”
5. That it’s totally fine to make everyone think we’re away for the long weekend.
6. Or that we’re new in town. (Even though we’ve actually lived here for 13 months already.)
7. That strangers are always going to mistake our “normal face” for “resting bitch face.”
8. And that coworkers will mistake our quiet thoughtfulness as antisocial and non-participatory.
9. That there is nothing worse than a group project where nobody’s in charge.
10. That having houseguests is more tiring than CrossFit.
11. That when we see someone we know at the grocery store, but they don’t see us…we’re totally going to sneak into the dairy aisle to avoid them.
12. The thrill that comes from traveling alone. (We can spend six hours perusing that Italian paper store and no one can give us grief!)
13. Related: solo movies, restaurants and Ikea trips.
14. That we turn into a silent observer when more than three people join our small group conversation.
15. And secretly hate when Mike invites even more people we don’t know to that purportedly intimate sushi dinner.
16. That we let all phone calls go straight to voicemail. (Let’s just text, OK, Aunt Carol?)
17. And find an excuse to run to the Rite Aid in the middle of Easter dinner.
18. The increasing creep of anxiety when we want to leave a party, but our ride wants to stay.
19. The sheer joy of a well-executed Irish goodbye.
20. That we can be chatty, and hilarious and sometimes even fun at parties--but still derive our energy from being by ourselves.
22. And hell is a crowded networking event where the acoustics are terrible and strangers keep grazing our lower back.