Which Fancy French Cheese Should You Be Eating (According to Your Zodiac Sign, of Course)
Ever find yourself a tad overwhelmed when it comes to the endless, who-the-heck-knows-how-to-pronounce-this abyss of artisanal cheese? As usual, the stars are here to light the path (in this case, down the cheese aisle). Below, acclaimed cheesemonger, Roland Barthélémy reveals your fromage soul mate and its perfect pairing— according to the zodiac, of course…because why not?
AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 – FEBRUARY 18): Chaumes
Literally translating to “stubble” in English, this sweet-meets-salty cheese’s moniker is a rather apt metaphor for your generally rebellious nature. (Ironically, it was also the trademark of your motorcycle-riding, toothpick-chewing high school boyfriend.)
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Place it atop a cracker, then add a pinch of cocoa powder and one raspberry as a final touch.
PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 – MARCH 20): Supreme
For the preeminent big ol’ softie of the zodiac, this double-cream, soft-ripened cheese has a delicate flavor profile perfectly suited to your gentle nature. Funny enough, it also has some mild nutty notes on the finish—much like a one dreamy, upstream swimming fish.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with walnuts and honey on a cracker.
ARIES (MARCH 21 – APRIL 19): Esquirrou
You’re the warrior of the zodiac, with a seriously impressive ability to see projects through until their finish. This rich cheese goes through a 90-day aging process of meticulous brushing and turning. In other words, like you, it’s a fighter.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with black cherry preserves on a breadstick.
TAURUS (APRIL 20 – MAY 20): St. Andre
As the most grounded of all the earth signs, you’re never one to shy away from slowing things down and savoring the day. Buttery and satiny, this decadent triple-crème cow's-milk cheese shares your simple pleasure-minded mind-set.
Pairing note from Roland: Serve with melted Valrhona chocolate and enjoy with a hard slice of ginger bread.
GEMINI (MAY 21 – JUNE 20): St. Agur Blue
A flighty yet thoroughly charming air sign, you’re often being pulled in two different directions. Echo this dichotomy with a double-cream blue that’s equal parts tangy and milky and, like you, a hit at every party.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with crackers, a few slices of bananas and a pinch of black pepper.
CANCER (JUNE 21 – JULY 22): St. Albray
You present a hard shell on the surface, but you’re super sensitive underneath. With its brioche-like texture (tough rind and soft interior), this mellow cousin to Camembert bears a striking composition resemblance to your namesake crab.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with dried apricot and a bit of fresh rosemary.
LEO (JULY 23 – AUGUST 22): MAROILLES
Your big presence is impossible to ignore, Leo—much like the smell of this fragrant, uniquely textured cheese. A historical favorite of numerous French kings (including Louis IX and Charles VI), it’s a natural match for the most regale sign in all the zodiac.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with wild grain crackers, a slice of salmon and a touch of parsley.
VIRGO (AUGUST 23 – SEPTEMBER 22): Le Montagnard des Vosges
Your eye for detail and discriminating (read: fabulous) taste are your proudest attributes. This intense, distinguished cheese from the mountains of France (the cows must graze at 600 meters of altitude or higher) impresses even the likes of, well, you.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with a slice of saucisson wrapped in a thin slice of cucumber.
LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 – OCTOBER 21): Brie
It’s in your gracious nature not to get too precious about things. Naturally, the same applies to cheeses. Rich and creamy, with a perfectly balanced flavor profile, the exceedingly popular wedge o’ French Brie is a match made in heaven for the level-headed scales of the zodiac.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with sliced green apple and two M&M’s. (No joke.)
SCORPIO (OCTOBER 22 – NOVEMBER 21): BLEU DE CHEVRE
You’re a lady of mystery by nature—sometimes even to yourself. But you also know that’s what makes you such a badass. This très authentic cheese variety (farmed in a boutique commune just outside Paris) is similarly enigmatic: in a rare occurrence for blue cheeses, it’s made from goat’s milk.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with a slice of bacon.
SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21): Le Severac
Your adventurous nature calls for a like-minded cheese counterpart. After aging in a stone cave for 9 to 12 months, this creamy variety emerges with brazen notes of pineapple, pepper and spice. P.S. It won the Gold Medal at the 2017 World Cheese Awards—a positive attribute befitting the eternal optimist of the zodiac.
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Serve with ham and a slice of pear.
CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 – JANUARY 19): Chevre
You’re conservative, ambitious and straight to the point. This traditional, fresh goat cheese (from the rich milk of your namesake goat) is as no-nonsense as your approach to life (and delightfully effective at jazzing up a salad).
Pairing note from Barthélémy: Put it atop a slice of baguette, top with olive oil and bake in the oven for 15 minutes at 315 degrees or until slightly melted. Add some fresh pepper and pair with your favorite salad.