10 Things You *Might* Want to Avoid If You’re a Mom on Social Media
Social media can be amazing for moms. You can post from the petting zoo where that goat licked your two-year-old’s nose. Then tap out a tweet asking how likely it is your kid got E.Coli from a goat. Mark baby milestones on Facebook and watch the heart emojis pour in. (Does it even matter if you secretly loathe the liker?) But wait, what’s that we hear? Rumblings about social media addiction leading to distracted parenting, false-comparison-induced anxiety and the destabilization of society as a whole? Pfff. Here’s what you really need to block when you’re raising babies in the age of the belfie.
Fitmoms of Instagram
If you are one of the 337,000 people this inspires, bless. We too have #goals including one day trying a spin class, joining a Pilates studio, deadlifting a friend or possibly walking outside. But if the dream is deferred because your “Countdown to Kindergarten” clock still reads “4 years and 3 months away,” do not, we repeat, do not compare your “body journey” with that of anyone named Kayse or Cassidy.
The one-who-got-away’s LinkedIn page
So he sold a novel. Big deal. Do we have brownies?
Moda Operandi and NET-A-PORTER’s flash sale alerts
Did you really need to blow someone’s college savings by pre-ordering white silk wide-leg trousers straight from the runway?
That cool mom’s feed (You know the one)
If she looks that polished at drop-off, you know her trip to Yellowstone will just destroy you.
Nothing will make your morning Costco run feel sadder than watching this supermodel-y couple feed giraffes in Kenya.
Health Activist Twitter
Think hard about whether you want your phone to ping you with alerts like “Lack of sleep may cause diabetes, obesity and other diseases” or solid evidence that hot dogs cause cancer—when that’s literally all your kids have eaten for two years.
Your former colleague’s Ted Talk
She leaned in. You’re just hoping to stand up. And that’s fine! It’s fine.
Attachment Parenting Twitter (IF that’s not your thing)
Pick your poison: Are you a working mom wishing she could babywear? A formula feeder after multiple bouts with mastitis? Did you sleep train to survive but still struggle with the guilt? To paraphrase Oprah, here’s two things we know for sure: One mom’s tip can be another mom’s torture. And someone can have all the followers without having all the answers.
Stylish Insta Kids
The only thing worse than outfit regret is worrying you sent your three-year-old to nursery school looking basic—and wondering why, unlike #toddlebrities, SHE doesn’t have 22.5k followers.
You log on looking for afternoon activity ideas, marvel at the creative geniuses who actually make their own fantasy dragon eggs and snowstorms in a jar. Then, two hours later, yell at your kids to get off their iPads and come to dinner. Which is pizza.