Why Swedish Parents Don't Sleep Train Their Babies and You Do

Every time I visit my friends and family in Sweden with a new baby in tow, there are a few things that seem to blow their minds. Firstly—they are fascinated by the fact that most American moms swaddle their babies, as recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics. Secondly, they think that this pacifier is hilarious (apparently, being able to see into the baby’s mouth is a novelty?). And finally, they’re astonished that all three of my babies have (mostly) fallen asleep on their own.

You see, in Sweden sleep training is very much not a thing. Babies nap outside in their strollers—rain, snow or shine—something that’s believed to improve both sleep and immunity. And at night, co-sleeping is the norm. A 2020 survey of 3,590 Swedish infants found that at 3 months old, 43 percent slept in their parents’ bed; by 6 months, a third still did. As one study put it, “co-sleeping in Sweden is perceived as a normal family activity.”

Meanwhile, American parents have a whole sleep-training industry at their disposal: cry-it-out, Ferber, Chair Lady—you name it. There are books, podcasts, entire online communities devoted to the cause. But in Sweden? Nothing of the sort exists. When I mention “Ferberizing” to my Swedish cousins, they look at me like I’ve started speaking Klingon. In fact, across the Nordics, the very idea of letting a baby cry it out is foreign. One Norwegian study found that none of the mothers endorsed it. Instead, researchers noted, “Norwegian mothers want to foster their infants' independence and freedom to choose,” and “letting infants cry themselves to sleep is not accepted, instead the infants’ needs for security are emphasized.”

So, why the difference? Parental leave is one obvious factor. Swedish parents get 480 days of paid leave per child, split between both parents. American parents, on average, get just 10 weeks—and not always paid. When you have to be back at work by month three, the pressure to get your baby “sleeping through the night” early is real. Swedish parents simply don’t have that same urgency.

But I think there’s more to it. Scandinavia is deeply family-first—a culture that builds family life into its infrastructure. There are family lines at airports, family parking spots at shopping centers, changing tables everywhere you turn. Kids are allowed to just… be kids. And by extension, babies are allowed to be babies. If they cry, well, that’s what babies do. If they want to sleep in your arms or wake up every hour, that’s not a problem to fix—it’s part of the job description.

As someone who’s tried it all—gentle methods, tough ones and everything in between—I’m the last person to judge how any parent gets their baby to sleep. But if you’re in the thick of a regression or wondering if you’ll ever sleep again, maybe there’s comfort in this: The Swedish approach isn’t about teaching babies to sleep—it’s about trusting that they eventually will.