26 Signs You’re Turning into Your Mother
Oyyy, is it hot in here?
Her chicken soup is the only thing that can actually cure a cold. And her advice belongs in a New York Times best-seller. So yeah, your mom’s the best…but dear God, you promised yourself you would never, ever turn into her. Unfortunately, though, it’s happening. Here, 26 signs you’re becoming your mother.
1. You showed up to your aunt’s birthday dressed in exactly the same outfit.
2. And then you referred to your pants as “slacks.”
3. Thank God you brought a sweater because it’s cold. Wait...you’re always cold.
4. And you’re always complaining about how you’re always cold.
5. Unless you’re complaining about how you’re always hot.
6. You’ve become the family’s resident meteorologist.
7. So you insist on layering. Not just for yourself, but for everyone in your immediate vicinity who must also “bring a sweater.”
8. And did I tell you to bring a sweater?
9. Oh right, you repeat the same story over again in the same conversation.
10. Without irony you recently used the phrase “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed.”
11. Which is how you felt about yourself for forwarding a chain email.
12. But isn’t it crazy that Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy and Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln? Oh, I told you that already?
13. You need one of those kids to come over and explain why everyone is barfing rainbows on Facebook.
14. Because you had some time to play around with your iPhone at the airport.
15. Since you got to your gate six and a half hours before your flight.
16. You have a new habit: bringing Lysol wipes with you everywhere.
17. And while we’re at Costco, let’s just buy enough toilet paper to prepare for the apocalypse.
18. And enough steak to feed 20 even though there’s only four of us.
19. Since you can’t help but force food on anyone who eats at your dinner table.
20. And God forbid someone takes a sip of wine without completely lining their stomach with food.
21. But, let me tell you, “Last time the bisque gave your father GAS."
22. Oh right…you do that audible whisper thing now.
23. People have started holding the phone three inches from their ears when you call.
24. You’re not judgmental, but what the hell did Debbie’s daughter do to her beautiful hair?
25. You can’t believe it, but the 5 p.m. Early Bird special does actually sound like a pretty great deal.
26. Oh, and every time you say: "Oh my God, I can't believe I'm turning into my mother,” then yeah…you’re turning into your mother.