Joanna Gaines on Mom Guilt and the One Conversation with Her Daughter That Changed Everything

When it comes to parenting, there are plenty of questions that can keep you up at night. Am I doing enough? Am I spending enough time with my kids? Could I have done something differently? For Joanna Gaines, those familiar feelings of mom guilt became especially loud as her daughter Ella prepared to leave for college. But one emotional car ride ended up changing the way she looked at it all.

The Magnolia founder, who shares five children with husband Chip Gaines, 51, opened up about the experience during a conversation with Hoda Kotb on the September 7 episode of Joy 101.

“Mom guilt never goes away. It’s something you have to manage, you have to always work through," Joanna shared. "And I remember when Ella, when I was taking her to the airport, we were about to fly to where she’s going for college. I remember just crying a little bit and thinking, ‘OK, this is the moment I can just like say I’m sorry for anywhere I wasn’t present.’"

As Joanna built her businesses and transitioned from being a stay-at-home mom, she worried that her daughter might feel like she wasn't present enough.

"There were months leading up to me saying goodbye to her that I held that mom guilt of, ‘is she thinking I wasn’t there enough?’ So, I’m creating this narrative," she explained.

So, during the car ride to the airport, Joanna decided it was finally time to ask.

“We’re in the car and I just quietly start crying, and I’m like, ‘Hey, I want to ask, and you can be honest, but I also want to say, I’m sorry if there’s any way where you ever felt like I just wasn’t there enough, or because I was working, I’m sorry.’ And she kind of got mad,” Joanna recalled. “I thought this was going to be this beautiful (moment). And then me getting to receive and say ‘I’m sorry,’ and her accept the apology. She got upset and she said, ‘Mom, are you serious?’ She’s like, ‘all you’ve taught me is I can do anything and everything.’”

That response completely reframed things for Joanna.

"So, the narrative she’s built up over the years is not the mom guilt that I’ve been holding. Instead, it’s one of strength and empowerment and beauty," she added. "And right there, it was a life changing moment for me that you just, you need to talk more."

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