“Midway upon the journey of our life, I found myself within a forest dark, for the straightforward pathway had been lost,” wrote Dante, referring to Hell and also, I imagine, the freezer aisle of the nearest Whole Foods, bursting at the seams with cauliflower products.
In the last 10 years, cauliflower ascended to superstardom, not just replacing kale as the hottest vegetable on the block, but standing in for chicken wings, steak, pizza crust, rice, rolls, breadsticks and pasta. It promises to make your smoothies creamier and your marriage stronger. (Don’t quote me on the last one.)
But I can count on one hand—one finger—the times I’ve enjoyed the cruciferous vegetable. It was pilsner-batter and coated in a chipotle-maple glaze, and if I closed my eyes, I could almost pretend it was a boneless chicken wing. It’s not as flavorful as broccoli and it’s certainly less delicious than a potato. I can’t be the only person who doesn’t get it…right?
Last month, comedian Abbi Crutchfield posed a theory on Twitter that resonated: