Even if you and your BF have been living together long enough not to care if the bathroom door is open while in use (well, on a case-by-case basis), some things do change once you sign on the dotted line. Here’s what six real women told us they wish they knew before they did the whole matrimony thing.
6 Things Real Women Wish They Knew Before They Got Married
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Published Mar 7, 2017
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How Getting Married Would Affect Our Taxes
“So get this: Let’s say you get married on December 31, 11:59 p.m.—according to the government, you were married the whole year. We didn’t realize that, so we didn’t take the time to understand how getting married would affect our tax returns, and yeah, we wound up owing a big chunk of money I was planning on using for the wedding.” – Talia, Burbank, CA
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What Our Financial Expectations Were As A Couple
“I know it sounds so boring, but here’s why it matters. Before getting married me and my partner did everything separately, so I had no idea how much she spent on what and vice versa. Now, as a team, if we want to hit goals together—buy a house, raise a kid, etc.—we need to be on the same page to build a future together.” – Stephanie, Memphis
Twenty20
What My Husband’s “love Language” Was
“I didn’t even know this was a thing until a few years into marriage, but I really think knowing how my husband gives and receives love (gifting, time together, affirmations, touch or devotion), would have helped quell a lot of fights we had early in our marriage.” – Phoebe, Chicago
Twenty20
How Different Fighting Would Be
“Like, before you get married, there's always the chance that you could break up, so with every fight there's an ‘out’ and you can invoke that. When you're married, you have to work it out. You can't storm out the door and go back to your own apartment. You're not fighting to win. You're fighting to get to a better place in your relationship.” – Gillian, Pittsburg
Twenty20
What It Really Means To Be A Team
“We had always called ourselves a ‘team’ but the second we got married, that concept took on new meaning. For example, before there was still a lot of me versus him with things like credit card debt or getting laundry done. Now, I feel like it’s our credit card debt and our laundry, which is something I never felt before. I’m super independent, but somehow marriage feels like we went through a formal merge.” – Raquel, Austin
Twenty20
That We Are Actually Family
“After we got married, it was the strangest thing ever to think of my husband’s niece as my niece. Now I feel like I have a personal responsibility to really live up to that role. When we were dating, I was all: ‘Oh yeah, we’re going to see his niece.’ Now, she’s my niece, too. That feels kind of huge and heavy and I just wish I prepped a bit for that wave of emotion." – Greta, Macon, GA
