Sometimes, the relationship we’re making difficult is actually the relationship with ourselves. When it comes to self-sabotage, nobody is off the hook, and that hook can feel pretty pointy at times. Here, how you're most likely to work against yourself, according to your zodiac sign. (If you’re able to read these with an open mind, congratulations—that’s the first step to overcoming self-sabotage.)
Aries: Reckless Abandon
As the first sign in the zodiac, you love to be number one. And while your tendency to dive head-first into challenges is truly admirable, the danger comes when you find yourself thinking about where you’re going after you leap. Yep, that fiery determination is great until you find yourself in a situation where you are wholly unprepared. Like that time you raised your hand to lead a workshop in Excel without knowing anything about spreadsheets? Remember: a little premeditation can go a long way, especially when it comes to your success.
You, sweet bull, can be as stubborn as, well, a bull. In true earth sign fashion, you’re grounded to a fault—sometimes too grounded. You're walking in circles. This may be psychologically comfortable, but ultimately, it’s not getting you where you actually want to go. Yes, we know typing entirely with your index finger is “just how I do it!” But does it have to be? Stop defending the route that’s not working—your inner GPS system might be broken. It’s not personal, Taurus. It’s just…how maps work?
Seeing both sides of any situation is a Geminian gift that can devolve into a weapon…against yourself. You become blind to your own intuition when every other perspective is so crystal clear to you. Thus, you self-sabotage by indulging in your own brand of schizophrenia. It’s like how you decided to pursue a major in Business instead of your passion, philosophy, because your parents’ argument for pragmatism was so solid. But that meant flushing your dream of being a lifetime academic down the toilet. Following our hearts and instincts is a big part of our journey toward success and fulfillment—don’t let your own voice become lost among all the other voices in your head.
Cancer: Emotional Addiction
You Cancers have EQs so high, your scores go off the charts. While this is healthy, to an extent, this emotional access can sometimes lead to, well, emotional addiction. You ride the highs and lows of emotional input so much that you become dependent on the rush you get from those peaks and valleys. Body surfing on the hands of positive feedback sure feels great, but it’s not sustainable. And letting a toxic coworker’s belittling comment ruin your day is giving too much power to your emotions. Forever seeking five-star, rave reviews from every person you come in contact with means you’ll never know how good it feels to walk on stable ground.
Your fiery self-love and confidence have a dark side: an utter lack of self-awareness. You sometimes see your capacity to change as being dependent on other people’s behaviors. But the truth is that it doesn’t matter what anybody else is doing—you can make changes any time you want…as long as you’re willing to admit to yourself what you could be doing better. True self growth requires self-awareness. Stop throwing stones from your glass house—the more you complain about your neighbor, the more you’re commenting on yourself.
This might sound crazy, but being a perfectionist doesn’t actually help you achieve perfection. Here’s a riddle: If perfection is impossible, can one really be closer than anyone else to something unattainable? Nope. Your perfectionism leads you to discount the subtle but important steps forward on your journey. Recognizing the baby steps affirms you’re moving in the right direction. Here’s another riddle: If you’re only satisfied by an imagined ideal, what’s the only direction you can go? Down.
More than any other air sign, you spend too much time deliberating over, well, everything. You have a special knack for architecting mountains out of molehills. While your in-depth research and long and winding thought process is commendable, pouring your mental, physical and emotional energy into reinventing the wheel is not the best use of your time. In fact, you dance around solving the actual problem by just complicating them more. The wheel has already been invented. Move on. Give your brain room to create something completely new.
Ah, Scorpios. You expect the full trust of everyone around you, but you have none to spare in return. Here’s the thing: no one can help you if you don’t give in a little. You pride yourself on being a one-man show as if that lonely fact makes you stronger, but your resilience to open the flood gates will suck you into a vacuum that leads to nowhere. Remember: Even skyscrapers sway in the wind. Use your best judgment to let others help take you to the top.
A self-sabotaging Sagittarius will become a bit too obsessed with playing the comparison game, which is—spoiler alert—a detour from your own progress. When you’re solely focused on “beating” others, you lose track of your goals. Remember that time you trained for a marathon because your brother’s girlfriend was doing it? You don’t even like running. Just think: all that time jogging you could’ve spent writing that novel you have in your head. When you direct all your energy toward someone else’s dreams, your own dreams will starve on the vine.
If you could, you would put your dreams under a microscope so you could keep track of their growth hour by hour. Because of your steady eye on the prize, you think you know everything there is to know about where you’re going. But this rigidity could make your path weak and brittle. Softness opens the door to connection and connection means networking. Sometimes, Capricorn, it’s not about what we know, but who we know. We are here to connect with people—that’s what expands our world and our consciousness. Whether it’s a love connection or a career connection, don’t be so frigid that your door to opportunity stays stuck shut.
Aquarians are all about the future, so much so that they sometimes risk lacking an eye for the present. A self-sabotaging Aquarian will expect future success without making any of the necessary changes in the present to achieve it. You might find yourself operating based on how you think a situation should be—or will be—rather than facing the present reality. And this allows for big oversights that can ultimately lead to your demise. Solve problems in the present, so that you don’t have them piling up in your future.
There’s a time and place for self-sacrifice—giving the last piece of birthday cake to a child, for one—but declining a promotion because you don’t want your boyfriend of three months to feel intimidated by you is not one of them. This is advice only a Pisces needs to hear: You should never (ever!) self-sacrifice when it comes to working on yourself or achieving your goals. You will have plenty of opportunities to give up things you want—like your subway seat to an elderly lady when you’re really, really tired—now that’s the time to get all Piscean. But when life gives you the tools you need to get closer to what you want, don’t throw them away in order to play the victim.