The advent of the New Year means it’s time to set some new resolutions and new goals. For deep-thinking introverts, this means it’s time to take stock of all that’s around you and see how to improve yourself moving forward. If you’ve found that this past year has been full of way too much external activity that rattled your little reclusive soul, this is the perfect time to check-in and figure out how to carve out that silence you so crave. Below, three New Year’s resolutions all introverts should make.
1. Stop Pretending to Be an Extrovert
Even if you roll with a crew of extroverts, trying to keep up with their outgoing nature and social savviness will only drain you. Telling your life story to the random girl you just met in the club bathroom, looking for networking events to attend after work and organizing weekly happy hours with pals is not your thing, so don’t try to fit yourself into the extrovert mold just because that’s what the people around you are like. You like to keep your social circles small, hang out with people you truly like and confide only in the ones you trust and it’s important to remember that there’s value in that too. Plus, we’re willing to bet the extroverts in your life are occasionally envious of your introverted tendencies, too.
2. Say “No” Firmly
It’s the holiday season, which means there’ll be a lot of parties and get-togethers you’ll be invited to. And when all your friends are in the festive spirit, it can be hard to say, “No, I’m just going to sit this one out.” It’s okay to suck it up and go with the flow occasionally, but if you notice that you generally have a hard time making your “No” stick, the New Year is a great time to recalibrate that pattern. Start by communicating to friends about the effect that big groups have on you—whether they trigger some anxiety, are hubs for unnecessary drama or you simply don’t enjoy them. Reiterate as needed. When that doesn’t work, ghosting (as long as you circle back later on) is totally appropriate. Don’t feel peer pressured into socializing when you don’t want to.
3. Embrace Your Strengths
You may not be the life of the party, but you certainly are the glue that holds the entire thing together. If we all vied for attention with our clever jokes and Footloose-inspired moves on the dance floor, surely things wouldn’t go so smoothly. Introverts are known to be better at one-on-one conversations and listening more than they speak, so if your contribution to the party is talking some people off a ledge and keeping the peace, lean into it. And while you may not be the best at throwing a big, jam-packed rave, you know just the perfect, low-key restaurant that serves the best French toast and roasted coffee to soothe those hangovers and morning-after blues. Trust us, your loved ones love you for that.