You’ve gone on a few dates with a great person you met on a dating app. So far, you’re really enjoying spending time with them: They’re smart and funny and not at all hard on the eyes—score. But, unlike you, they’re introverted. You understand that they’re going to have different boundaries, but you might not realize that some of the little things you say and do can be hurtful to an introvert.
Case in point? Saying things like, “But why can’t we stay a little longer?”
It’s important to put yourself in their shoes. Many introverts have a very specific amount of social energy that they’re comfortable expending. Once that energy tank is empty, it can be really difficult to smile and fake it. While it’s OK to ask, “Do you want to stay a bit longer?” phrasing it as “Why can’t we…” places blame on an introvert, which isn’t fair.
And here’s the thing: If you want to stay longer, you can. Once an introvert has told you that they’ve had enough, they’ve had enough. Trust that they know themselves well enough to recognize that they’re no longer going to have fun or contribute to the situation. When an introvert says they’re done, believe them.