I Asked Dozens of Hinge-Users About Their Biggest Red Flag Prompts on the App

Translation: I’m selfish, still mentally in college and the only long-term commitment I care about is with my overpriced Kith hoodie. (No man in history has asked his wife to return a sweatshirt.) Broadcasting “I’m stingy with clothing” is just shorthand for “don’t expect me to stick around.”

Women, this one’s for you. For men, this response doesn’t read as flirty—it reads as transactional. It signals that your priority isn’t finding a partner, it’s finding a benefactor. And while, yes, chivalry is nice, leading with “I’ll buy one round if you bankroll the rest” is basically the dating-app equivalent of listing “gold digger” under special skills on your resumé.

To men under six feet (aka half the app), this response reads less like “cheeky banter” and more like “I’m shallow and screening for Instagram boyfriends.” If you want someone to look past your insecurities—brittle hair, lopsided boobs, hormonal acne—maybe start by showcasing a personality that isn’t defined by a tape measure.

Nothing says “I'm unavailable” quite like treating communication the way Verizon handles customer service. Sure, it’s meant to be a joke, but if they're advertising chronic unresponsiveness up front, believe them. The only thing worse than a slow texter is one who thinks it’s an interesting personality trait.

This is Hinge-code for: I want a woman who’s “chill.” But does that mean chill when he flakes? Or when he takes three days to text back? It’s less about playfulness and more about lowering expectations so he doesn’t have to step up. (Which is ironic, because the guys who “don’t want someone serious” are usually the ones who crash out when their fantasy football team loses.)

This one showed up from both men and women, which surprised me. It basically comes off as: I care too much about what other people think. Everyone on this app is looking for love. That’s not embarrassing. What *is* embarrassing is pretending you met at a grocery store…only for your sister to expose you in her wedding speech.

Sarcasm is great—makes for a great first date—but if you need this as a disclaimer, you might be less Chandler Bing and more asshole who doesn't know it. Think: someone who can’t read a room, who double downs when nobody's laughing, who—50/50 chance—has been punched in the face for taking it too far. Sarcasm isn’t a red flag; a warning is.

Best not to highlight the exact behavior that makes dating apps miserable. Everyone’s guilty of matching and ghosting on Hinge, but to make it their brand? Just imagine the circus when you actually try to plan a date (assuming you ever get past “hey”). 

This one came up again and again from men. To them, a woman with this response signals entitlement and zero interest in mutual partnership. Again, it's a response that reads as transactional. (And if you’re a man who has this on your profile? You’ll have better luck building a time machine to the 1950s.)

I get that this is a popular one. But many women see this and think: This is the guy who flips a Monopoly board when he loses to a 9-year-old. Competition in moderation is fun; “everything” signals you don’t know when to turn it off. And no one wants their relationship to feel like the Olympics.

On paper, this sounded fine to me. But some men interpreted this as: she’s juggling three other first dates this week. The whole point of these prompts is to show enough personality to make someone *want* to pick a time and place with you. Otherwise, you’re signaling he’s just another Thursday night Resy at 8.

A few women flagged this answer—but not because there’s anything wrong with a man wanting to raise kids. It’s that on a dating profile, it reads less like “family man” and more like “lazy.” I was told it signals a lack of drive, ambition or at the very least, awareness of just how difficult it is to raise kids as a female breadwinner.

The problem with this answer? It makes every interaction feel like a pass/fail test (instead of, you know, two people just talking). One wrong move, one offbeat question, and boom—you’re locked out before the second round arrives. If we wanted a pop quiz, we’d download Duolingo…

Ah yes, the participation trophy of Hinge prompts. Everyone wants to laugh—but leading with this tells you nothing beyond the bare minimum. When men use it, it’s code for “I haven’t thought of anything past Netflix and wings.” When women use it, it reads like “just entertain me.” Either way, it’s lazy, low-effort and possibly indicative how little they’ll bring to the table.

Finally, as a New Yorker, this is the equivalent of someone telling me, “I’m Ed Gein.” Yet regardless of your pizza order, the real red flag is that this is your most controversial opinion. Out of all the possible hills to die on, you went with Domino’s toppings? All this screams is, I haven’t had an original thought since I downloaded TikTok.