The Bartesian Cocktail Machine Is Like a Nespresso Machine, but for Cocktails
We’d be lying if we said hosting a party is easy. But one thing that should lighten the load? A robot bartender. Yeah, we’re not kidding. Thanks to the Bartesian cocktail machine, you can whip up an old-fashioned, cosmopolitan or margarita with the touch of a button. It’s basically like a Nespresso machine for cocktails.
Sounds too good to be true, right? We figured as much ’til we learned that this Kickstarter-funded invention has garnered some seriously awesome praise. It was named Best Home Appliance at the 2020 CES Innovation Awards, and back in December, Oprah Winfrey declared the Bartesian one of her favorite things.
Everyday users sing its praises too. “I ordered it for a dessert party I was having in my house for 40+ guests. It was awesome. All my guests were super enthused about this product, which allowed us to not need to have a bartender for the event,” writes one Amazon reviewer.
“I love the convenience of this machine! This is something I never knew I needed. I never have the extra ingredients on hand to make a cocktail (like juice or those random liqueurs you use only once), so this solved all of my problems. Plus, I’m pretty lazy after work, so this gives me more options besides opening up some beer or wine,” raves another.
Needless to say, we were impressed. And we wanted in. So we had a Bartesian sent to the PureWow office to try it ourselves.
When the machine arrived, we were immediately struck by how easy it was to set up. After filling each of the four glass liter bottles with their designated alcohol, and filling the back of the machine with water to its designated fill level, it was time for the main event: picking a cocktail pod.
We decided to christen our Bartesian with an old-fashioned, so we popped in the old-fashioned cocktail pod, selected “regular” strength and hit “mix.” About 30 seconds later, it was ready to sip. It wasn’t watered down or syrupy sweet, as we’d feared something coming from a pod would be. “There’s a strong whiskey flavor on the front that’s tempered by a hint of orange—honestly, this could rival something you’d spend $14 on at a midtown bar,” confirmed our executive editor, Candace.
A couple of sex on the beaches, a Long Island iced tea and a few whiskey sours later, we were not disappointed (and work had effectively ceased for the day, lest we follow the “write drunk, edit sober” advice often misattributed to Hemingway). The machine seemed to mix the most balanced drinks when we selected the “strong” setting, and we’d definitely recommend putting a towel down in front to avoid any stickiness, as the machine tended to sputter occasionally, dripping alcohol on the countertop, but other than that, we had no issues with it.
Impressing your guests with a cool new gadget and not having to man the bar all night? Sounds like a win-win to us.