You probably already know that body language plays a major role in how we communicate. A loving glance? Instant warmth. A lingering touch on a first date? Sparks. But what about the subtle (or not-so-subtle) physical cues that spell trouble for a marriage? According to Dr. Terri Orbuch, PhD, Relationship Expert at DatingAdvice and Distinguished Professor, certain body language patterns can reveal when a relationship is headed for serious trouble. Here are three red flags that might indicate your divorce is on the horizon—and what to do about it.
3 Body Language Red Flags That Signal Divorce
And what to do about it
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Published Mar 12, 2025
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Meet the Expert
Dr. Terri Orbuch (PhD), is a relationship Expert at DatingAdvice and Distinguished Professor. She is the director of a landmark study, funded by the National Institutes of Health (NIH), where she has been following the same couples for over three decades. She also trains matchmakers in the science of relationships so they can do their matchmaking more effectively.
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1. Resting ‘Meh’ Face
Think about how you naturally look at your partner. A small smile when they walk into the room, a raised eyebrow when they tell a joke—these micro-expressions communicate warmth and connection. But what happens when those positive expressions disappear?
“When a spouse consistently displays a lack of caring and positivity toward the other spouse through their facial expression—or doesn’t even consistently look at their spouse when they are talking—it signifies a lack of positive feelings emotionally,” says Dr. Orbuch. In other words, if your partner’s resting face toward you looks more ‘meh’ than ‘mesmerized,’ it could be a warning sign.
How to Turn Things Around: Practice the 5:1 ratio. It’s the Gottman Institute-approved method to balancing each negative interactive with five positive interactions.
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2. A Long-Term Lack of Physical Touch
Touch is one of the most primal ways we connect with others. From holding hands to casual back rubs, physical contact signals affection, comfort and intimacy. So what happens when those touches fade away?
“Spouses touch each other more when their relationship is satisfied, comfortable, and intimate,” Dr. Orbuch explains. “A lack of positive touch—none at all or very little—over a long period of time signifies that the spouse doesn’t feel positive, close, or comfortable with the other spouse.” In some cases, this lack of touch stems from unresolved anger or resentment, which, if left unaddressed, can drive an even bigger wedge between partners.
How to Turn Things Around: Engage in non-sexual touch. Your brain probably equates any touch from your spouse with sex. Break the link to take the pressure off.
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3. Too Much Space, Too Often
Ever notice how happy couples tend to gravitate toward each other? Whether they’re walking down the street or sitting on the couch, they naturally close the gap between them. But if a couple seems to be keeping an invisible force field between them at all times, it’s worth paying attention.
“Although the amount of space can differ between cultures and people, in general, in close, happy intimate relationships, spouses have less space between each other as they talk, walk, and sit together,” Dr. Orbuch says. “Larger distances signify less closeness, caring and intimacy between two spouses.” If you find yourself positioning your body farther and farther away from your partner—or vice versa—it may reflect deeper emotional distance as well.
How to Turn Things Around: Take into account your positioning during one-on-one conversations and adjust—lean in, get closer, close the gap.
So, What Now?
If you’ve noticed these body language red flags in your relationship, don’t panic—Dr. Orbuch says there are steps you can take to turn things around. The key? Address the issues head-on.
- Improve Communication – Instead of brushing issues under the rug, have honest conversations about what’s bothering you.
- Decode the Meaning – Understand what your body language (and your partner’s) is really saying about your emotional state.
- Tackle the Root Cause – Most body language red flags stem from unresolved conflicts. Therapy, workshops or even dedicated quality time together can help rebuild intimacy and trust.
The good news? Body language isn’t set in stone. With some effort and awareness, couples can shift from distance and disconnection to warmth and closeness again.
