This Mother’s Day, Let’s Hear it For the Aunts

Mother’s Day is about moms. I get that. But when I think about what my life actually looks like day-to-day, I don’t just think about me. I think about the other women impacting my kids’ lives. Namely, I think about aunts, the unsung heroes of childrearing.

You see, I have two kids, which means most days feel like a blur. Remembering who needs what, answering questions I don’t always have answers to. Some days run smoothly. Others …not so much. And in the middle of all of that, my aunts are there.

My Aunt Joy and Aunt Anita are 70 years old, and they’ve always been that steady presence. The ones who’ve done this before, who don’t panic when things feel chaotic, who just step in like it’s second nature. They’re the people I text when something falls apart. And it always falls apart at the last minute. “Can you grab them?” or “Are you around for an hour?” It’s never planned, never ideal timing. But more often than not, they make it work. They show up. No guilt trip, no long explanation needed. Just, “I’ve got it”. That alone has saved me more times than I can count.

And it’s not just the blood relations. My friends have become aunts too, in their own way. The ones who show up without the mom title but are SO mother-like. I have one best friend listed as my emergency contact, which, to me, says everything. She knows my kids, my schedule, my chaos. She’s the one I call when I’m running late, when something shifts, when my hubby and I just need another adult to step in and hold things down for a minute.

These women also actually know my children. What they’re into, what makes them laugh, when something’s off. They come to things they don’t have to come to. They check in. They remember the little details that make my kids feel seen, like buying random Stanley cup accessories for my 6-year-old. 

And I know I’m not the only one living like this. There are more than 2 million kids in the U.S. being raised by relatives. And this makes sense, because so much of this kind of support happens outside of anything official. 

A friend of mine, and my daughter’s godmother, put it in a way that stuck with me. “The Black community readily embraces the African proverb, ‘It takes a village,’ and my village was full of the most phenomenal women.” She’s not a mother yet, she hastened to say, “but I am so very honored to hold the title of ‘Auntie.’ I wear it like a crown.” 

Other aunts, too, expressed the joy they felt from influencing a child’s life, but admitted it would be nice to be acknowledged.  "As an aunt to six kids under six, I would never expect anything on Mother's Day,” says Emily Brozyna, PureWow’s Director of Social Strategy. “But it sure would be amazing. I'm deeply obsessed with my nieces and nephews, and if I got a handmade card, I would literally save it forever because those kids mean the absolute world to me." 

Ultimately, I think we talk about motherhood like it’s a solo role, like one person is supposed to hold everything together all the time. But that’s not how it works. At least, it hasn’t for me. Rather, it’s a group effort. It’s all the women who step in. 

So let’s loosen the reins on who gets to celebrate this day this year. After all, how great would the special aunt in your life feel to get a simple thank you?