Food, glorious food—it’s the one thing that can bring us all together, no matter our politics, creed or even astrological sign. So, what would a plate made of up zodiac signs look like? Here’s our take on what each zodiac sign would be as food. Order up!
What Each Zodiac Sign Would Be If They Were a Food
Aries (March 21 – April 19)
Steak and eggs with a Bloody Mary
Aries is ruled by Mars, planet of action. Always on the go, Aries need fuel for climbing mountains and tackling daily challenges without breaking a sweat. But along with what’s hearty, Aries also brings the heat so sip carefully, that Bloody Mary is packed with extra horseradish.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20)
Pasta carbonara with a light-bodied (organic) red wine
Taurus has some very bougie tendencies, but they also value comfort over everything. Add together some carbs, some creamy sauce and a wine that goes down so easily you can polish off a bottle without blinking an eye, and there you have a Taurus.
Gemini (may 21 – June 20)
Lavender scone with a cup of mint tea
Gemini is ruled by Mercury (the planet of communication) which means their mind never shuts off. These chatty air signs can think so much that their brains short circuit, which is why they need to soothe their nervous system with calming herbs like mint and lavender.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22)
Sourdough bread with salted butter
Cancers love food like they love love: it’s warm, comforting and consistent. They’re like a fresh loaf of sourdough bread, baked with a grandmother’s care. Ruled by the moon, Cancers know you need to follow your impulses when it comes to nourishment, so they never skimp on the butter. Make it salty, full fat and delicious.
Smoked salmon eggs benedict with dill & chives
Ruled by the Sun, Leos of course would be a delicious brunch rather than any other meal of the day. The fixed, fire sign uses only the finest ingredients to make something so delicious and hearty that when you’re done, you must settle down for a long nap.
Harvest grain bowl from a fast casual lunch spot
Virgos are debatably the most fit sign in the zodiac. More than most, they’re going to make the healthy choice, while also sticking to a budget and keeping what’s available in mind. Ruled by Mercury, they’re also ready to grab on the go between one meeting and the next.
Panna cotta with vinegar and honey
Ruled by beauty planet Venus, Libras are, of course, a selection from the dessert menu. Though they’re not the weirdest item, they definitely have an experimental side, as the social air signs love to dissect ideas and surprise us with their complexity.
BBQ shrimp with mystery ghost pepper sauce
The first few bites of a BBQ shrimp might leave you thinking, “Oh, this isn’t so bad,” but a couple minutes later, you’re sweating and your mouth is on fire. Such is the sneak attack of a Scorpio—delicious and possibly deadly.
Everyone knows that Sagittarius is the life of the party. No matter what’s happening around them, they’re able to channel a youthful joie de vivre and improve everyone else’s mood. Whether it’s from a high-end bakery or straight from the box, who doesn’t smile when they see a Funfetti cake?
Sous Vide Pork Chops
More than any other sign, Capricorns are OK with taking the slow road and playing the long game. They’re a meal that takes hours to prepare and is high quality and delicious, requiring skills that must be cultivated over a lifetime.
Organic bone broth
As a socially conscious air sign, Aquarius provides us with what we need to survive. That’s why there are no fancy add ons—no ginger, no turmeric, no transformation into a lemony chicken soup. Just a warm, hearty cup full of rich vitamins and minerals to strengthen the gut.
Pisces are the most lovable sign of the zodiac…and also a fish! So of course they’re a food made of raw fish which almost everyone loves. Though many think Pisces are “just” a simple California roll, they forget that on some days, they’re spicy tuna with extra Wasabi. Watch out for when the minnow becomes a piranha!
Jaime Wright is an astrologer based in New York. You can subscribe to her newsletter for more musings on the stars.