You and your S.O. have been together forever, and you tell each other everything. But just because you can vent to your one-and-only from time to time doesn’t mean respect and compassion should fly out the window. Watch out for these six innocent-seeming comments that could potentially damage your relationship in the long run.
'You’re making a big deal out of nothing.'
OK, you might have a point. Maybe the meltdown your S.O. is having about dish soap is colossally stupid. But in the moment, keep those feelings to yourself. Chances are, you’ll have a similar meltdown (or 50) over the course of your relationship. Sometimes when you’re tired or frustrated, there’s nothing better than just having someone listen (even when you know you’re being really dumb).
'I don’t have time for this.'
Yes, your love could probably have picked a better time to show you those old baseball cards in the garage. But instead of blowing them off or getting frustrated that they picked the worst time to distract you, keep it positive and tell them you’re really excited to check it out…in half an hour. Part of being a supportive partner? You can always figure out a way to make time for them, no matter what.
'You always do this.'
Even if it seems like you’ve had the same argument ten times, don’t play the “always” or “never” card. Chances are, your partner has emptied the trash before, and accusing them of never doing it just escalates the problem unnecessarily. Instead, tell them how their actions make you feel, and how much it would help you if they did things differently. Focus on the future outcome, not blaming based on past actions.
'I can’t live without you.'
This one sounds sweet in theory, but there’s a difference between supporting your partner and codependence. If you find yourself relying on your partner for everything to the point that you feel you won’t be able to function without them, it’s time to take a step back and remember that you’re still a whole person, with or without your soul mate by your side.
'It’s fine, forget it.'
We’ve all been there: You and your partner are bickering about something small, and halfway through the fight, you realize it’s not even worth arguing about. But dismissing the whole thing outright can come off as passive aggressive, and an unresolved conflict can bubble up again later. It’s best to communicate how you’re feeling and resolve the issue right then, no matter how small.
'Why is this so hard?'
Ask anyone: Being in a relationship isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. So instead of expecting it to be, roll up your sleeves and tackle the tough stuff. If you listen, provide support and communicate your feelings, you’ll come out on the other side feeling closer and more connected.