The daily grind: a swirl of job efforting, dinner cooking and traffic waiting. No wonder that it’s easy to fall out of touch—much less fall out of love—with our life partner. But there’s a solution, according to psychologist and relationship expert Dr. John M. Gottman, who claims that the couples most likely to enjoy marital closeness and satisfaction are the ones who build richly detailed “love maps.”
Love maps are an outline of everything you know about your partner: hobbies, dreams, frustrations, the whole enchilada (including and not limited to details like do they even like enchiladas?). Gottman’s theory, part of a therapeutic method he’s practiced and taught for more than 50 years, is that when we're really clear on these details, our partner feels heard and cared for. We asked two therapists trained in the Gottman Method to help explain the whys and hows of love mapping.