No, you don’t have to both unabashedly love the Packers, small batch whiskey or The Americans (but seriously, it’s so good) to be in a fulfilling relationship. But those couples who can’t get enough of each other? Well, they might not even realize it, but here are eight things they’re probably doing to keep those smiles on their faces.

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happy couple tea
Twenty20

When They’re Alone, They Listen to Each Other
Whether it’s an anecdote about a work email gone awry or an existential diatribe on string theory, happy couples listen to each other. Like really listen. They empathize and ask questions, even if it’s just about a silly typo in a subject line.

…But They Don’t Spend Every Waking Second Together
Even if they’re head-over-heels in love, sometimes some “me” time is necessary to recharge. And hey: A little absence makes the heart grow fonder. (Especially when that absence includes hanging out in PJs until 4 and watching The Devil Wears Prada.)

happy couple friends1
AJ_Watt/getty images

And They Have Their Own Friends
While having a bunch of mutual friends is great, couples that have their own friends establish independence outside the relationship. Getting into the needy zone can be toxic. (And Amy’s Tinder horror stories are always way more fun when it’s just the two of you.)

They See Things from the Other’s View
Do you think that totally-obsessed-with-each-other couple on the subway ever fights? Of course they do. But instead of throwing vases, we’re willing to bet they take a step back and walk a couple feet in their partner’s shoes.

Respect for Each Other Is a Constant
Aretha Franklin was on to something: Happy couples aren’t just happy because they’re only in love, but because they feel respected. When their bosses, moms, even kids throw shade, they know there’s always a well of support waiting for them at home (hopefully with Chinese takeout).

happy couple beach
Twenty20

They Understand the Other’s “Love Language”
Everybody gives and experiences love differently, whether it’s getting served breakfast in bed, discovering a handwritten note, talking or cuddling. Find out what you can do to make your partner’s day and do it as often as possible.

They Don’t Just Compromise, They Sacrifice
Let’s be honest: No one comes out ecstatic meeting in the middle. But happy couples give in to each other because seeing your partner that excited to see Moana outweighs your desire to see that art house film.

They Play by Their Own Rules
You’ve heard it a million times: Never go to bed angry. But there are some happy couples who do go to bed angry (shock!) because waking up and talking about it the next day works better for them. While there’s truth in relationship maxims, couples that get along carve out their own path. (And if that path includes Packers games and Moana sing-alongs, even better.)

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