Can the TikTok Famous Burnt Toast Theory Make You Happier? I Asked a Psychologist

During a recent TikTok scroll, I came across a video about the Burnt Toast Theory. This particular video featured an aesthetic-looking bedroom with text overlay: “If you burn your toast this morning, the time you spend toasting another slice may have saved you from a car accident, or made you cross paths with a new friend.” As I am with many social media “theories,” I was skeptical (and honestly found the whole thing to be kind of cheesy). But the more I read, the more I realized the Burnt Toast Theory, which dictates that minor everyday frustrations might actually result in positive outcomes, can actually be an effective coping mechanism that can help you be more optimistic and patient. To learn more, I reached out to psychologist Dr. Alexandra Stratyner.

Dr. Alexandra Stratyner, PhD, is an NYC-based psychologist. She has many years of experience working and consulting as an established licensed psychologist. She currently works with patients in individual psychotherapy, group psychotherapy, couples and family therapy, and assessment and consultation services to preadolescents, adolescents, young adults, and adults in the Manhattan-based Stratyner & Associates practice. Stratyner specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy approaches, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, mindfulness skills training and mindfulness-based relapse prevention and integrative approaches to therapy.

Stratyner tells me, that the Burnt Toast Theory is a variation of a concept known as the Butterfly Effect (a concept that shows how small occurrences can lead to big changes), and suggests that minor everyday frustrations, like burning your toast, might actually lead to positive outcomes that otherwise might not have happened. She explains, “It's the idea that these little setbacks could be protecting you from something you don't see yet, such as missing a more serious problem or danger. In this way, a minor inconvenience is seen as part of a larger, unseen plan, guiding you away from potential harm or toward better things. It's a way to look at small misfortunes as possibly working out for your greater good, even though you may not understand why at the time.”

A few examples that illustrate how it may manifest in your life include:

• Failed Job Interview: You don't get a job you wanted but later discover a better opportunity that fits your goals even more.
• Missed Flight: You miss your flight but later find out the plane had a mechanical issue or instead, you meet someone in the airport who becomes an important person in your life.
• Spilled Drink: You spill coffee on your clothes and have to change, but in doing so, you bump into an old friend who offers you a great networking opportunity.

Is the Burnt Toast Theory Real?

“The idea that small occurrences that seem inconsequential earlier in time may alter things in significant ways at a later time—known as the Butterfly Effect—is an aspect of a field of mathematics known as Chaos Theory, and it could be the case that seemingly inconsequential things might feasibly result in bigger consequences ultimately than were originally anticipated,” Stratyner says. However, she adds that because we can’t predict whether this will actually occur in any consistent manner, ideas like the so-called Burnt Toast Theory or Butterfly Effect are more commonly applied as psychological coping tools that are meant to improve how we handle life's minor frustrations. “This approach might allow us to view frustration differently to maintain our calmness and flexibility when plans fall apart. Adopting this mindset enables us to develop greater patience and strength to endure, which helps us face life's challenges with less stress.”

According to Stratyner, the Burnt Toast Theory can help us cope by encouraging a mindset shift. “When we face small frustrations, reframing them as part of a bigger picture can reduce stress,” she tells me. Instead of focusing on the negative, understanding setbacks as potentially having benefit in the grand scheme of things can help us practice greater acceptance and take these inconveniences to heart less. The theory can also help with:

Adopting this mindset helps you bounce back from disappointments more easily, as you're less likely to dwell on minor issues. Stratyner says, “You're more likely to see challenges as temporary and manageable, which strengthens your ability to handle bigger problems in the future.”

This theory promotes optimism by showing that beneficial aspects can exist in negative situations, and can gradually change your perspective to identify potential opportunities instead of concentrating on roadblocks.

Per Stratyner, “Understanding that life won't always follow your schedule helps you develop patience when dealing with unpredictable events.”