Here at PureWow, we’re big fans of analyzing body language, whether that’s Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce’s body language as a couple, Prince William’s signature body language move or even Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo’s body language in Wicked. Body language can say a lot about a person in any given situation—and that includes on a first date. I chatted with relationship expert Sophie Orozco to learn about three first date body language red flags that you might want to watch out for.
3 Body Language Red Flags to Look Out for on a First Date
According to a relationship expert
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Published Dec 30, 2024
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Meet the Expert
Sophie Orozco is a relationship expert. After healing her own marriage after a period of disconnection and despair, she knows firsthand the struggles of balancing career, parenting, and keeping the spark alive, and has devoted more a decade to intensive study of human psychology, communication dynamics and the art of intimacy.
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While there are probably a thousand things going through your head on a first date—especially if it’s one that seems promising on paper—it’s important to be on the lookout for body language red flags like the three Orozco calls out here:
1. Not Making Eye Contact
Orozco tells me that not making eye contact might mean they’re unsure of themselves, avoid intimacy or perhaps do not want to be seen for various reasons. “It could also mean deception,” she adds. Now, you don’t want someone to be staring at you so intensely that you wonder if there’s something in your teeth, but a normal amount of eye contact is crucial on a first date.
2. Crossing One’s Arms
Crossing your arms can be a body language red flag in a number of scenarios—including on a first date. Orozco explains, “Crossing their arms means that they are defensive and don't want to be open; it is a subconscious barrier between them and the other person.”
3. Fidgeting or Being Jumpy
“Being jumpy and fidgety could mean that they are anxious, nervous and even possibly taking substances,” Orozco warns. Note, of course, that a bit of first-date anxiety is normal—more on that below—but constant moving around could signify bigger issues than the usual jitters of meeting a potential romantic partner for the first time.
Now, just because you notice your date is a little awkward with eye contact or fidgeting a bit on the first date doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is doomed. Orozco tells me, “It is entirely possible that they are just nervous and are not being themselves.” It’s super common to be a little nervous in these situations, and you shouldn’t immediately rule someone out because they exhibit one of these behaviors. But, she adds, if this body language continues to pop up further into the relationship, it might not be the right fit.
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To end things on a slightly more positive note, let’s talk about a few body language green flags on a first date, shall we? Orozco says that green flags include:
- A warm smile and soft eyes
- Open body language
- Relaxed arms
- Consistent eye contact
Good luck out there, folks.
