Astrologers Are Begging You to Stop Asking About Your Crush’s Chart (Here’s What to Ask Instead)

You probably don’t need me to tell you that the two most common things I get asked about in astrological consultations are love and money. My job as a professional astrologer is to give clients a reflective tool to refresh their viewpoint and see their life through a different lens. Hopefully with a clear focus! But that’s the thing: my job is to make space for the client’s life, not the fictional life of the client’s crush. If you’re going to an astrologer, we’re simply begging you to stop asking us to delineate anything about your crush’s chart.

Don’t Ask About Your Crush’s Chart

Asking for astrological dating advice happens not just in session, but also in more casual settings. I tell someone at a party that I’m an astrologer and the next thing I know, they’re showing me a screenshot from an astrology app of their recent date’s chart. Forcing my hand to insist, “I don’t care about their sign.”

This is about more than just my own boundaries, it’s an ethical concern. Your crush has not given me permission to look at their chart. For me to speculate on what any of their placements mean is gossip, not professional advice. (Not that there’s anything wrong with some healthy gossip, but you could be asking a much more helpful or interesting question).

It’s the client’s lived experience that brings a chart to life. I always say during a reading, “You know more about your life than I do.” And I mean it! The same thing goes for your crush—you know more about them and how they make you feel than I do. So beyond it being an ethical concern, the question really isn’t about their chart, it’s “How does this person make me feel?” That’s what you should be asking yourself rather than “Is it a red flag that they’re a Capricorn???”

Instead, Ask What Your Chart Says About Love and Relationships

Ultimately, it doesn’t matter how “compatible” your sign (or even your whole chart) is with someone else’s. Any relationship can work if both parties are willing to put in the work. Asking “what sign is a good match for me?” is such a limiting way to look at compatibility, especially when your own birth chart has a wealth of information about who you’re meant to partner with.

Through looking at your Venus placement, 7th house and its ruler, 5th house and its ruler, there’s so much I can tell you about your relationship history, what attracts you to others, and what you’re really looking for in a partner. I can tell you whether you’re more likely to meet someone on an app or a meet-cute at a farmer’s market. That’s before we even get to timing with current transits. Yes, we can figure out optimal moments for you to put yourself out there and find someone right for you! But first, it’s important to get clear about what you’re even looking for because that’s usually when you find exactly what or who you want.

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Jaime Wright


Jaime Wright is an astrologer and writer based in NYC. She has been writing PureWow’s weekly and monthly horoscope columns since 2019, and also authors the cult favorite...
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