“If your S.O. does not get an invitation, as frustrating as it may be, I advise not to ask to bring them, because it may put the couple in a hard place due to budget or even space restrictions,” Meier advised.
Yep, you can whine and cry and pout in the group text all you want, but at the end of the day, it’s a choice the bride and groom consciously made. And while a friend’s wedding can be a glorious coming-out party for your new relationship, try to remember, the decision is most likely not about you. A negative plus-one doesn’t mean the bride thinks you’re dating the wrong people. It probably just means the bride has 31 first cousins and lots of aunts and uncles to appease.
So, don’t ask to for a plus-one; don’t beg on Roger’s behalf; and do not passively aggressively insinuate that this choice reflects badly on the bride, for goodness' sake, because so often, a wedding is a precarious family balancing act with a lot more going on under the surface—and lot more people to please (aka, the folks footing the bill)—than you can probably tell. Asking the couple may put them in a stressful position, especially if they’ve already had to tell someone else no.
Oh, and note to self: Unless the invite specifically says, “and guest,” you should assume that the only people invited are the ones named on the envelope. It’s not an oversight. The bride and groom have spent months poring over the painstaking details (hello, seating arrangements). They are well aware that the fire department will shut down the party if they’re one body over the 200-person occupancy.