The 14 Worst People You’ll Encounter at the Beach
*Don’t* be one of them
It’s summer, you guys, which means it’s officially beach season. That’s awesome, unless you have to deal with any of the following characters when you just want to soak up some sun. Try your best to avoid them, but try even harder not to be them.
1. People with too much stuff
The cooler, we get. The folding table, pop-up tent, hibachi grill and inflatable sofa? Not so much.
2. People blasting super-loud music
Mostly because it’s usually Jimmy Buffett. (Sorry.)
3. People who let their kids act like maniacs
No no, we love getting sand kicked into our face while listening to fart jokes.
4. People wearing thongs (no matter what their body looks like)
Or worse yet: People wearing less than thongs.
5. People with terrible hand-eye coordination playing ball sports
We’re sure you’re good at a lot of things, but catching a football before it crashes into our crudité is not one of them.
6. Kids who dig holes and don’t fill them back in
Which we always seem to “find” after wine spritzer #3.
7. People with no regard for personal space
By all means, block our sun with your umbrella. It’s not why we came or anything.
8. The guy ogling all the girls in bikinis
Yes, dude. That French 17-year-old definitely wants to meet up for Miller Lights later.
9. The couple engaging in way too much PDA
You guys, there are children here.
10. People with the skin of a 40-year-old leather bag
Not the worst per se, we’re just worried about you guys.
11. People who litter
Really? Just don’t.
12. People who splash you when you’re clearly trying to preserve a three-day-old blowout
13. People who shake out their sandy towels in the middle of a crowded area
Eyesight is overrated, we guess.
14. People who had one too many sips from the S’well bottle of rosé they smuggled in