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ISO a Spontaneous Friend: Why Everyone Needs at Least One in Their Lives

spontaneous friends

Calling all chronic plan cancellers: There's a very specific type of friend that you need in your life. Meet the spontaneous friend.

What is a spontaneous friend? Basically, she (or he) is the antidote to anyone who ever pressured you to lock in a date three weeks away, then got passive-aggressively annoyed when something came up and you asked her to pivot the date. You can text her last-minute (say, 30 minutes before you want to meet up) and she's down for whatever—a cup of coffee, a walk, a Target run—no strings attached. 

But isn't it hard to find someone with that kind of availability? Not necessarily. What you're looking for here is someone who's in a similar phase of life to you. You're seeking a friend who's flexible, adaptable and non-judgy should you have to stray from the original plan.

Are there any special characteristics they should have to fit the bill of a spontaneous pal? A few prerequisites: It helps if you live in close proximity, but you also need someone who's fast at responding to texts. It's also worth noting that not *every* hang needs to be last-minute or on the fly. (Don't confuse spontaneous with surface-level—this should still be someone you feel a strong connection to.) But the bulk of your time together should have that "right place, right time" kind of vibe.

And the benefits of this kind of friendship? The main one: It's pressure-free. Work, kids, side hustles—it all requires a ton of time. You need a friend that lightens your emotional load, not one that adds to it. 

Oh, and in case you were wondering, making spontaneous friends is also kind of a trend. In a recent interview with Fast Company, Reese Witherspoon revealed: Spontaneous friends are her favorite friends.

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Royal family expert, a cappella alum, mom

Rachel Bowie is Senior Director of Special Projects & Royals at PureWow, where she covers parenting, fashion, wellness and money in addition to overseeing initiatives within...