When I negotiated with the toddler gods, the price I paid to keep my kids ignorant of Cocomelon was Ms. Rachel. As in, they’re obsessed with her. The YouTube (and now Netflix) sensation, Ms. Rachel with over 14 million subscribers, aka Rachel Griffin Accurso, is the overalls-clad, pink shirt and pony tail nice lady who’s been dubbed Beyonce for toddlers. As goes most things with parenting, my feelings on Ms. Rachel are complicated. On one hand, I find her grating, annoying and boring. (Why can’t my kids enjoy headier kid-content like The Muppet Show, a documentary on safari animals or even Bluey?) On the other hand, Ms. Rachel is so much more than a lady on the screen. She’s my sister-wife, proxy mom/teacher/aide, trusted confidante who I hold near and dear to my heart—I can talk shit about Ms. Rachel, OK? But if you say something bad, then we’ll have a problem. So what’s with my love-hate relationship with the “Songs for Littles” siren?
Ms. Rachel’s videos, despite the insanely high view count and wild popularity, are very lo-fi. The first time I watched, I was like, “Damn, I should’ve gotten into the YouTube for kids business.” There’s really nothing fancy or revelatory about the production or the content. Sometimes it seems like Ms. Rachel just finds random crap around the house and is like “sure, I can do 30 minutes with a strange little plastic baby with creepy eyes pretending to eat this Montessori Swiss cheese—these kids don’t know left from right!”
And my god, the lady is repetitive. The constant repetition is brain grating. Her sing-songy delivery is demeaning. Her overalls and pink shirt piss me right off. She’s a real-life cartoon, always chipper and always in the same outfit. And my children are head over heels for her. When friends brag that their kids never took to Ms. Rachel, I seethe with jealousy—are my kids seeking something in this saccharine songstress that they’re not getting from me? Am I not enough?
To answer my own question: no, I am not enough. No mother is enough. I can’t possibly unload the dishwasher and patiently teach my kids how to count to ten at the same time. I need Ms. Rachel to keep an eye on the tots while I marinate the chicken. She’s reliable, passionate about childhood education and she has a really cool connection to Broadway through her husband, which means she’s bringing low-key grade-A talent to showstoppers like “I’m So Happy” and “The Wheels on the Bus.” She’s inclusive, empathetic and accessible. She’s also the real-deal. With a background in music education and early childhood development, I may personally find her content dull, but that’s because it’s not for me. It’s for kids. And I love that her journey was inspired by her own child's speech delay.
