These 5 Things Need to Happen on This Week’s ‘Euphoria’ Finale So I Can Sleep at Night

Published Feb 25, 2022

Season two of Euphoria has not been easy on the nervous system. Each Sunday as I tune in for my poetically induced panic attack, I find myself artistically inspired, frightened, awe struck and wanting more. What else can you ask for from a piece of art, really? With Sunday’s finale fast approaching, here’s a (deeply unrealistic) list of things I’d like to see from the Euphoria finale so I can sleep at night:

Eddy Chen/HBO

1. Fez Needs To Be Ok

This is first on the list for a reason. The face, the voice, the paternal instincts and the God given swag…Fezco is the heart of the ocean necklace on this Titanic style sinking ship. The writers are clearly foreshadowing something bad happening to our lowkey sweetheart and he needs to be protected at all costs. Fez forever. Or else.

2. Maddie & Cassie Need To Practice Non-Violent Communication

These two need to be on a conference call with Dr. Phil and Dr. Ruth as soon as possible. I would also like to recommend the iconic therapeutic text, Non-Violent Communication, as a resource moving forward. Otherwise, I believe they could resort to a WWF style smackdown where someone ends up body slammed into a coffee table. Not great.

3. Laurie, The Scary Drug Dealer Lady, Needs To Fall Off The Face Of The Earth

This woman sends me over the edge. The juxtaposition of her catatonic demeanor and her caustic language stresses me out. And don’t forget, Rue owes her 10k for the drugs that were flushed during her intervention. In a perfect world, this lady would be abducted by aliens because space would be the only location I would feel safe with her being at this time.

Eddy Chen/HBO

4. Cassie Needs To Read Gloria Steinem’s ‘Revolution From Within’

My heart goes out to Cassie because every woman I speak with relates to her struggle with deep insecurity during high school, including myself. I want Cassie far away from Nate, her family and her deeply disturbing exfoliating practice as soon as possible. But first, some Steinem.

5. Rue Needs To Go To Rehab

Watching Rue get everything she wanted in the first episode (see: Jules and drugs) was a terrifying moment. Our girl is her own worst enemy and has some deep healing to do under the care of a highly capable team. The last place I wanted to see her was casually seated watching a school play as if things are normal. Although it was amazing to see her reactions, as usual.

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