I Tried a Sheet Mask...for My Butt

I know what you’re thinking: A sheet mask for your butt?! What has the world come to?

I’d heard about butt masks from Credo Beauty, of all places, a retailer known for its nontoxic (and highly curated) products. It also happens to be one of my favorite places to shop. I figured if a reputable place like Credo is carrying it, it’s at least worth a try. Also, I was curious. (I mean, aren’t you?)

The cheeky packaging says things like “your butt deserves attention too” (fair) and “my butt looks better than your face” (hey, that’s not nice). There are four masks to choose from; I went for the “firming and illuminating” variety because I could use a bit of both. 

One glass of wine down, I tore into the mask and gently pulled out two gold-flecked sheets (one for each side). Then, I slapped them on my butt and thought about how strange life can be at times. I mean, what would I possibly tell my mom if she called? “Sorry, Mom, call you back. I’m butt masking.” But I was surprised to find out I could actually take calls if I wanted—the sheets adhere shockingly well to your backside. I could even walk around without them slipping (though I wouldn’t recommend doing a lunge or anything). Oh, and a warning: they’re really cold when you first put them on. I was a little surprised by the sensation. 

I went through the rest of my skin-care regimen—you know, the one for my face and neck—until my time was up. Then, I peeled the sheets off and sheepishly checked my behind in the mirror. Indeed my butt looked (slightly) brighter. My money is on the gold flecks. And yes, my bottom felt supremely soft, but then again, I wouldn’t say it was particularly rough before.

Bottom line (yes, I did that): An illuminating butt mask will set you back nine bucks. Would I do it again? Maybe right before my first trip to the beach next summer. You know, when you’re at your pastiest and could really benefit from some golden flecks on your derriere. It would also be a fun (and funny) add-on for a bachelorette party favor or bridal shower. Is it going to be a new part of my daily routine? Tempting, butt no. 

Try it ($9)