We know what our zodiac sign says about the cars we like, the ice cream flavors we love and the fancy cheese we can’t live without. But what about the stuff we loathe? Here, your idea of hell based on your sign.
Your Idea of Hell, Based on Your Zodiac Sign
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Published Apr 9, 2018
Aquarius
You’re trapped working on an assembly line where you have to wear a really boring uniform every day for the rest of your life. Your boss changes your job description without telling you, then follows up with a memo featuring a billion misspellings.
Pisces
You’re in charge of picking the restaurant for a group dinner and every place you try is full, and then when you finally get a table, the waiter tells you they’re out of every entrée except for the veggie burger.
Aries
You’re condemned to an eternity of playing an unwinnable game of solitaire (with an incomplete deck of cards) in a room all by yourself. You have just enough Wi-Fi to see that all your friends are meeting up for margaritas.
Taurus
You fall madly in love with someone, but then find out that they’re a freelance writer who travels the world and lives, paycheck to paycheck, out of a suitcase in budget hotels.
Gemini
You debate for hours over whether to go to a party, finally decide to go and get stuck talking to someone who makes Lindsay Lohan seem like Beyoncé.
Cancer
You’re in an endless round of speed dating and every person you talk to seems to find something wrong with you, but they never say what it is. It could be that there’s something in your teeth, or your insatiable need to be loved. Also, it is very cold, and you are wearing a leather miniskirt.
Leo
You’re a working actor but, after getting called back for a lead role, end up getting only 45 seconds of screen time. And you have to shoot those 45 seconds inside a dark studio on the prettiest day of the year. And they pay you in Kohl's Cash.
Virgo
You plan a weekend trip with all of your friends down to the minute. When everyone shows up, someone (probably an Aries) suggests just winging it and—to your horror—everyone else agrees.
Libra
You have unlimited access to your style icon’s closet, but all of the clothes are wrinkled and you can’t find an iron anywhere.
Scorpio
You begrudgingly agree to go to a comedy show, only to be called up on stage by the comedian and made fun of for the way you walk in front of everyone.
Sagittarius
You find your dream apartment (we’re talking his-and-hers sinks and stainless appliances), but to get it you have to sign a 34-year lease.
Capricorn
You get an interview for your ideal job, but at the last minute they say the interview is a test you can’t study for and that 95 percent of people fail on their first try.
