Most of the time, they’re doting, attentive and supportive. (That’s what made you fall in love with them in the first place.) But this week, they’re distracted, preoccupied and distant. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t throw their clothes out on the front lawn yet. It’s normal for relationships to ebb and flow, especially when you’re in it for the long haul. Here are three totally non-scary reasons things seem distant this week.
Things Are Going Great at Work
Whether your partner got a promotion, was assigned a big new project or just feels excited that things are clicking at work, your relationship might feel like it’s taken a back seat. If they’ve explained what’s going on, don’t worry—this new trend of spending an extra hour at the office instead of hanging on the couch watching Black Mirror with you is only temporary, and the best thing you can do is be supportive and patient as things level out at work. Don’t skip ahead and watch “Arkangel” alone—it’ll be twice as good if you wait it out and make the time to watch it together.
They’re on Autopilot
It happens, even in the best relationships. It’s been smooth sailing for months, and besides that teeny fight about changing the light bulb in the bathroom, things have been really amazing. When your partner is feeling this secure, their attention might drift to the less-than-stellar relationships in their life, like their meddling mother or micromanaging boss. You might be their one and only, but it’s OK if you aren’t always the star of the show. Are they blowing you off or showing up two hours late to dinner? Definitely worth a discussion. But were they distracted and forgot to kiss you the minute you walked in the door? Let it slide (and then listen intently as they vent about your MIL).
They’re Making Time for Friends
Couples in movies and books spend every waking moment together (damn you, Nicholas Sparks), but in reality, it’s super healthy to have separate friends and interests. (Even science says so.) So if your spouse just joined an intramural dodge ball team and wants to stay out for celebratory drinks with the team, don’t take it as a slight that you weren’t invited. In fact, it’s a sign that you have a strong, healthy and secure relationship. (Plus, it means you can go to brunch and a movie with your friends this weekend.)