When it comes to sex, everyone has theories: You peak in your 20s, married people stop doing it, and once you hit 40, it’s all just hand-holding and good TV. But what’s actually true? I decided it was time to take to it to the people! With the help of PureWow’s email and social media team, I polled over 300 women (346 to be exact)—from their 20s through their 50s+—asking about how often they’re having sex, how often they wish they were having sex, and how they really feel about their bodies while doing it (or not doing it). Here’s what I learned.
20s, 30s, 40s or 50s: Which Age Group Is Having the Most Sex?
We polled over 300 women to spill the deets
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Published May 1, 2025
Original digital art by Dasha Burobina
Infographic design by Dara Katz
Women in Their 20s Are All Over the Place
- Confidence Score: 2.8/5
- Actual Sex Frequency: Most spread out across all categories—highs, lows and everything in between
- Ideal Sex Frequency: 55% want sex 2–3 times a week
There was a wide spread of answers for women in their 20s. With some women having sex four times a week, others not at all. Still, the overwhelming majority wished they were having more. More than half of the 20-somethings surveyed said they want to be having sex 2–3 times a week, but far fewer are actually hitting that mark. Some cited mismatched libidos or flaky situationships, while others pointed to insecurity: "Don’t do it with the wrong people," one warned. Another shared, "The right person will make you feel confident naked."
In fact, their average body image score? 2.8 out of 5, the lowest across all age groups. Still, they’re learning: "Tell your partner what you like so you don’t miss out."
Infographic design by Dara Katz
Women in Their 30s Are in the Thick of It (and Not Always in Bed)
- Confidence Score: 3.15/5
- Actual Sex Frequency: Most fall in the middle (1–3x/month or once a week)
- Ideal Sex Frequency: 40%+ want sex 2–3 times a week
According to the survey, women in their 30s are not the group having the most sex—but they are the most consistent. The largest share reported having sex somewhere between once a week and a few times a month. They also had a solid match rate between how much sex they wanted and how much they were having. That’s basically trying on the flattering jeans and learning they’re on sale.
Still, there was some tension under the surface. While a third reported having sex multiple times a week, nearly as many said it was only happening a few times a month—or even less. And when you think about how many women in their 30s are trying to get pregnant (“Do it twice a day!” says your Nosey Granny Neighbor) and then having babies (“Do it never!” says zombie brain on 25 minutes of sleep), it kinda makes sense.
Infographic design by Dara Katz
Women in Their 40s Are in the Sex C-Suite
- Confidence Score: 3.17/5
- Actual Sex Frequency: Most common answer is 2–3x/week, but monthly is close behind
- Ideal Sex Frequency: 43% want sex 2–3 times a week
By your 40s, you’ve probably figured out what you like—and, more importantly, what you don’t. Women in this group reported a wide range of frequencies, but the most common responses were 2–3 times a week and 1–3 times a month. And yet, just like younger respondents, many said their ideal was still 2–3 times a week.
Interestingly, despite the gap between how much sex they want and how much they’re having, women in their 40s are pretty damn confident—their average body image score was slightly higher than the 30s group—a quiet indicator of growing self-acceptance. In fact, several respondents shared that the confidence they didn’t have in their 20s showed up by their 40s—and changed everything. “Confidence may not have been there in their 20s, but it grew with time—and now it’s leading the way.” Survey says…it’s making sex a lot better.
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Infographic design by Dara Katz
Women in Their 50s Are Confident (in Bed)
- Confidence Score: 3.42/5
- Actual Sex Frequency: Highest percentage having sex weekly or more—but also the highest reporting “never”
- Ideal Sex Frequency: 45%+ want 2–3x/week or more
Let me just say that I am sorry for treating women over 50 like a homogenous invisible ghost and clumping such a diverse age range together. The reason I did so was to simplify the survey and also because I assumed (correctly) that our reach to these age brackets would be smaller—I hope you can forgive me!
Still, women over 50 continue to surprise: Though the group was smaller, nearly half reported having sex weekly or more—the highest of any age bracket (yep, they have the highest percentage of respondents having sex weekly or more). But they also had the highest percentage of women who said they never have sex. This is a group with a wide spectrum of experience—some having the best sex of their lives, others completely checked out.
Their average body image score? The highest of all groups. “It gets better the older you get,” one wrote. Another put it plainly: “I ask for what I want.”
They may not be having the most sex, but they might be having the best sex.
What They All Have in Common
No matter your age, nearly every woman we polled wanted more connection, more honesty—and yes, more orgasms.
