You’re feeling, in a word, frisky. But you’re not sure if this is normal. You want to ask your friends, but you’re a little embarrassed. So, is it OK to have sex every day? Could it be bad for your reproductive health in any way? Your mental health? We spoke with the sexperts to get the full story.
In general, is it OK—as in, healthy—to have sex every day?
The short answer? Yes. In general, it’s totally fine to have sex every day. In fact, Kim Anami, holistic sex and relationship coach, believes that having enough of the right kind of sex can be one the most profound personal growth tools there is.
So, what is the “right kind” of sex? “If it is enjoyable and not causing any physical discomfort to have sex every day, it is totally fine,” says Dr. Lucky Sekhon, fertility specialist and board certified OB/GYN from NYC. For it to be healthy, it must be a consensual (meaning that both parties are willing and able to agree to have sex) and safe (i.e., all parties have been tested for pre-existing sexually transmitted infections and/or wear protection).
Another key question to ask yourself, says Mary Jane Minkin, OB/GYN with Yale School of Medicine and creator of the blog and video series Madame Ovary, is: “Is this causing me distress?” Per Dr. Minkin, if there’s no distress, there’s no problem. If there is, then it’s probably not healthy.
But is it normal to have sex every day?
“It's whatever works in the relationship. If both partners want to have sex every day, that's great. But if both partners want to have sex once a month-that’s fine too, as long as that is what both partners want,” Dr. Minkin tells us. In other words, there is no normal. Dr. Sehkon articulates the idea further: “There is no particular frequency or amount of sex that is considered ‘normal.’ However, when someone is consumed by thoughts of sex or having sex to the point where it infringes on other aspects of their life, that would be considered pathologic or abnormal.” If you’re experiencing obsessive thoughts about sex, it’s wise to bring it up with your doctor.
Are there certain precautions to take into account?
100 percent yes. The basics of safe sex mean protection from disease and unwanted pregnancy. If a couple is having regular intercourse every day, a long-acting reversible contraceptive method they don't need to think about, like an IUD, an implant or a newer method like Annovera (a ring that works for an entire year) are great options, says Dr. Minkin. Condoms are also necessarily to protect from STIs, unless both partners have been tested and are negative for STIs and are mutually monogamous. Dr. Sekhon also notes that some women may suffer from vaginal dryness and thinning of tissue which can predispose them to tears if they are having frequent sex, especially without proper lubrication. So if you’re gonna do it like rabbits every day, invest in some lube.
When is it not OK to have sex every day?
Sex every day is not OK when your body or your mind is not ready for it. “You should be careful not to disrupt a healing injury, like a vaginal tear or scar from a recent pelvic surgery,” Dr. Sekhon says. And women who have given birth typically should wait at least six weeks before considering resuming sexual activity. There are also some very unusual circumstances where it's not OK to have sex at all, Dr. Minkin warns. These include if a woman is pregnant and has a placenta that is covering her cervix (called a placenta previa), if a woman is pregnant and has ruptured her membranes (her bag of waters) or if a woman has pelvic inflammatory disease (PID). To reiterate, if there’s any emotional or physical distress, there may be something else going on.
Are there misconceptions about people who have sex every day?
The pervasive “Madonna/Whore” complex has historically led to stereotypes about women who have lots of sex. “It’s ‘normal’ for men to want sex every day, but for women it means you’re promiscuous,” says Anami. “Sexual voraciousness is a healthy, baseline expression for all women. They’ve just been conditioned to think they’re not as sexual as men.”
On the flip side, how do you know if you're not having enough sex with your partner?
“It’s pretty easy,” Amani tells us, “If you're more interested in the latest Netflix show or sleep than ripping your partner’s clothes off the moment they walk through the door, you’re not having enough sex.” Duly noted.