How Depression Impacts Executive Functioning—and Why That’s Especially Challenging for Moms

When we talk about executive functioning, what we’re really talking about are the skills required to manage day-to-day life. It’s things like problem-solving, working memory, time management, planning and emotional regulation.

It’s a lot for anyone, but for moms, the executive functioning demands are enormous. Think: meal planning, school emails, tracking everyone’s schedules, anticipating who needs what before anyone even asks. Staying on top of it all is hard enough on a good day—let alone when you’re also dealing with major depressive disorder (MDD).

I spoke with two mental health professionals to understand how depression can disrupt executive functioning, what that looks like for moms specifically and how you can take some of the pressure off when you’re struggling.

• Erica Djossa is a registered psychotherapist and author specializing in maternal mental health. She is the founder and CEO of Momwell, an online maternal mental health platform and virtual therapy practice.
• Dr. Judy Ho is a triple board-certified clinical neuropsychologist, tenured professor at Pepperdine University, author and speaker.

“Depression can change how the brain processes information,” says Dr. Judy. She explains that the prefrontal cortex—the region that helps us plan, organize, prioritize and make decisions—tends to become less efficient during depression, while the amygdala, which handles emotional processing, gets more reactive. Meanwhile, the brain networks that drive motivation and cognitive flexibility can also be underactive.

Tasks that used to feel automatic may suddenly require a surprising amount of mental effort. Packing lunches, responding to a school email or figuring out what to make for dinner can all feel like much bigger undertakings than they normally would.

Sleep plays a role too. “Sleep and depression and executive function all have this relationship together,” Djossa notes. Depression can disrupt sleep, while insufficient sleep can make executive functioning more difficult.

Task initiation is often one of the most noticeable challenges, says Dr. Judy: “Many people with depression know exactly what they need to do but feel as though they can’t get themselves to start.”

Djossa says that moms with depression often describe their bodies feeling like lead. “It’s really like an extreme chronic fatigue, irritability, sloth-like feeling that just really slows us down, makes it very hard to execute on tasks, and makes our fuse for any minor inconvenience extremely short.”

Decision-making suffers too. Whose turn is it to bring snacks to school? What should you buy? Do you have time to make something yourself? “Even relatively small choices can feel overwhelming because the brain has difficulty weighing options efficiently,” Dr. Judy says.

Working memory—the ability to hold and juggle information in your mind—can also be affected. And that’s exactly the skill you need to keep track of permission slips, half-finished grocery lists and which kid has soccer practice on which day.

It’s no secret that moms carry the mental load, aka the constant, invisible planning and coordinating that keeps a household running. And a lot of that work relies on executive functioning. When depression gets in the way, moms aren’t just emotionally drained; they may feel like they’re failing at things that used to be second nature. (Cue the mom guilt.)

While it’s easy to think of a forgotten Pajama Day or unanswered email as evidence that you’re dropping the ball, it’s important to recognize that depression may be making those tasks genuinely harder. As Dr. Judy puts it, these lapses happen “not because someone isn’t trying hard enough, but because the brain’s executive control systems are operating with fewer cognitive resources.”

It can also create a vicious cycle. Missed deadlines and forgotten responsibilities trigger guilt and self-criticism, which makes the depression worse and further drains motivation and mental bandwidth. “That’s why treatment often focuses not only on improving mood but also on rebuilding daily structure and creating small, achievable successes,” Dr. Judy says. “Restoring a sense of competence can interrupt that cycle.”

If you’re experiencing depression, don’t try to snap back into super mom mode. Instead, try to find ways to make everyday tasks require less mental energy while you're struggling. A few strategies that can help:

• Try “opposite action.” Instead of following what depression is telling you to do, do one small, deliberate thing in the other direction. “When our depressive mood is telling us to stay in bed, we do one small action to resist,” Djossa says. Get up, put on a shirt, take the stroller around the block for 10 minutes.
• Shrink the to-do list. This is not the time to plan a Pinterest-worthy party or finally put all your photos in a family album. “On days when we’re struggling, it’s going to be like, did we take care of our needs today? Did we take care of our baby’s needs today?” Djossa says. Give yourself permission to temporarily redefine what “getting things done” looks like.
• Body double. If starting a task feels impossible, try doing it with someone else. Call a friend while you fold laundry, meet someone for a walk or ask your partner to sit with you while you tackle your inbox. Sometimes the built-in accountability can make starting feel more manageable.
• Outsource your working memory. You don’t have to keep every detail in your head. Shared calendars, recurring grocery lists, meal-planning apps or even a whiteboard on the fridge can offload some of what your brain doesn’t have the bandwidth to hold onto right now.

The good news is that executive functioning tends to improve as depression is treated, whether through therapy, medication, lifestyle changes or a combination.

But cognition doesn’t always catch up to mood at the same pace. In fact, Dr. Judy notes that cognitive recovery often lags behind emotional recovery, which is exactly why treatment shouldn’t stop the moment mood starts to lift. “Cognitive rehabilitation strategies, behavioral activation, structured routines and executive functioning supports can help bridge that gap while the brain continues to recover.”