Shut up the haters—while still keeping the peace, because, family time!—here’s Stockard’s five-word phrase to redirect the conversation:
“Let’s talk about something else.”
It’s easy, bland, non-confrontational and an easy segue into a topic you can choose. Looking back, I’ve actually used this sentence a few times in uncomfortable situations and it works just fine.
Maybe your relative is persistent and constantly trying to raise the topic. In that case, you can follow up with Stockard’s second suggestion:
“I appreciate your concern about my life, but I am an adult and I have a strategy to navigate it.”
It’s polite, firm and sets your boundaries. Of course, maybe keeping the peace isn’t your priority, and you want to really hammer home your point. Below are different scenarios and examples of what you can say. Before you choose your route, Stockard advises: “Ask yourself what you would like your intention to be. Are you hoping to shut the conversation down, redirect it to something else, get into an argument or simply ‘clap back’ at the person saying mean/awkward things to you (which COULD end up leading to an argument)?” Once you decide on your course of action, you can sift through the example below.
Shutting Down the Conversation
- “I don’t appreciate that feedback.”
- “That’s not fair of you to say.”
- “This is not the appropriate setting to talk about this.”
- “I want to enjoy the holiday and time together; this is not the appropriate time to talk about this.”
Starting an Argument:
- “Thanks for that, can I provide YOU with some feedback now?”
- “Why would you say that to me?”
Clap Back
- “Are you okay?”
- “I don’t care what you think.”
