Last week, I was listening to sisters Princess Beatrice and Princess Eugenie sound off about their mum, Sarah Ferguson, on the Lessons From Our Mothers podcast when they opened up about the five-word phrase Fergie falls back on whenever life deals her lemons: “It’s alright, it’s character-building.” To them, it was an example of their royal mother teaching them resilience for good and bad times. For me, it’s become my new life mantra. Here’s why.
This 5-Word Phrase Served Up by Fergie for Tough Times Is My New Life Mantra
It’s all about teaching resilience
Published May 19, 2025
•7:24pm
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As part of the conversation with podcast co-hosts Cressida Bonas and Isabella Branson, Beatrice and Eugenie talk openly about life’s challenging moments and how their mother still somehow managed to infuse them with joy—whether they were running late for school or navigating their parents’ divorce. (Fergie famously split with her husband, Prince Andrew, in 1996.) “I’m a product of the more challenging moments of my life, and I love that,” Eugenie shares.
In fact, it was Fergie’s “pick yourself up” attitude that gave them a lifelong ability to rise up and face difficult times head on, according to the York sisters. “Mum has always taught us to...stand firm in that. And we have this little phrase now, ‘it’s alright, it’s character-building.’ And we sort of joke now because even the other day, mum unfortunately lost her luggage at an airport and it was like, ‘Oh, it’s alright, darling, it’s character-building.’ And I said, ‘Mum, you’re 64. I think your character is kind of built now.’”
Fergie’s response? “She’s like, ‘No, no, still got more to do.”
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She’s right. But also, credit to Fergie because ever since this phrase found its way into my head, I can’t stop leaning on it to navigate good times and bad. Like when my son got sick this past week ahead of a friend’s wedding I was looking forward to. Or when I missed the subway train by what felt like micro-seconds only to see that the one coming next was delayed by at least 15 minutes. Even just spending what felt like an exorbitant amount of time on the phone with an airline’s customer service department trying to navigate a glitch, I heard Fergie: “It’s alright, it’s character-building.”
The reason the phrase is so impactful is because it’s positive. Far too often, I catch myself falling into a shame spiral over issues I couldn’t possibly have anticipated or minor life derailments that are out of my control. Thinking of those tiny setbacks as character-building instead allows me to zoom out for a minute and reflect on the fact that this is all part of the journey. Perhaps I’ll look back on it later with a sense of humor even? A lesson learned? Fingers crossed.
It may help that this sentiment, coming from Fergie, also feels super on-brand for the royal herself. I had the opportunity to see the duchess speak in New York City a few years back at the 92 Street Y and her openness and vulnerability was apparent and on full display. Hearing her daughters share this anecdote about their mother felt authentic: Fergie really does view bumps in the road as character-building. It’s an act of forgiveness that reminds you to treat yourself with kindness. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying our best.
Royal advice we didn’t know we needed? Thank you, Fergie!
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