From your husband or boyfriend to your best friend or brother, there are dudes in your life you care about. And you’ve seen them wear one too many square-toed dress shoes for it to be socially acceptable any longer. Help our cause and lead them away from any of the following 13 pieces.
1. Deep V-Neck T-Shirts
We’re not anti chest hair. We are, however, anti man cleavage (especially in combination with chest hair).
2. Inauthentic Graphic T-Shirts
The number of people who wear CBGB T-shirts who actually went to CBGB is zero.
3. Ill-Fitting Suits
Not even 1997 Shaquille O’Neal could pull this off anymore.
4. Button-Down Vests That Aren’t Part of a Tuxedo
Mostly because stand-alone vests are so often accompanied by fedoras, which we won’t even legitimize by giving their own place on this list.
5. Shiny Dress Shirts
You know those guys at the club who women warn each other about in the bathroom?
6. Square-Toed Shoes
No, that’s not all they make anymore.
7. Baggy, High-Water Jeans
Google “Obama mom jeans.” Yeah.
8. Skinny Jeans
The opposite is just as ridiculous.
9. White Jeans
Not before Labor Day. Not after Labor Day. Not on Labor Day.
10. Jean Shorts
Unless you’re a never nude, of course.
11. Cargo Shorts
No explanation necessary.
They’re kinda gross even on women, and that’s after a pedicure.
13. Sports Jerseys
OK, we’ll give them a pass for game day. But after that, they’re basically just Kevin James.