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If you ever owned an American Girl Doll, you probably fell into one of two categories: Child who brushed her Kirsten’s hair and placed her lovingly back on the shelf each night…or child who painted Samantha’s toenails before cutting her bangs with pinking shears.

For the sadistic hairdressers among us, there exists the American Girl Doll Hospital. First opened in 1988, the Doll Hospital has since serviced some 840,000 dolls, and can achieve miracles along the lines of head replacements, eyeball cleanings and hair transplants. (The process is as follows: You either stop by the in-store hospitals in New York City and Chicago, or mail your distressed doll off to Middleton, Wisconsin, and after the repair, the surgeons hold onto the original parts, just in case you decide you did want that dog-chewed limb after all.) 

Wondering what horrors (and resurrections) have been done? Scroll on…

make up

Kindergarten nightmare

These girls were purchased in the mid-’90s, then spent ten years in a kindergarten classroom. So, to be honest, it’s kind of a miracle they still have any of their limbs.

molly

No leg to stand on

This Molly has seen things no doll should see.

hair before and after

Rough night

Actual footage of me, at age 37, the morning after drinking three glasses of wine.

haircut

Snippy snippy

Welp, this child will now haunt my dreams.

america girl on grass

CSI Samantha

This one has no after picture. It’s simply entitled “Samantha Raccoon Attack.” Our heart goes out to the family.

RELATED:From Addy to Samantha: The Definitive American Girl Doll Ranking

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