We’ve been law-abiding citizens ever since we tried to sneak that Snickers into our pocket at 7-Eleven when we were six years old (trust us, we learned our lesson). But there are heaps of silly and bizarre legislation in every state we never knew about--mostly because they aren’t even enforced. But still! Here, the weirdest laws to ever grace the 50 states.
The Strangest Law in Every State
Don't you dare milk your neighbor's cow
Bear wrestling is illegal. In case you were thinking about it…
Sorry, Mom--avoiding cracks while walking on sidewalks is apparently against the law.
Cutting down a certain type of cactus could land you with a 25-year prison sentence.
Flirting in Little Rock could mean 30 days in jail, lovebirds.
Here, sunshine is considered a legal human right. OK, we’re moving.
Catapults cannot be used to fire at buildings. This law isn’t just old; it’s medieval.
A pickle must bounce if it’s to be considered a pickle. Well…finally someone said what we were all thinking.
No changing clothes in your car. (But can you still eat burritos there?)
It is illegal to sell your children. Oy, Florida…
Sex toys are banned. That’s it. We’re canceling our Atlanta trip.
No coins shall ever be put in ears. Looks like Hawaii is where your grandpa’s favorite magic trick goes to die.
Riding a merry-go-round on Sunday is illegal. (Have you no soul, Idaho?!)
It’s forbidden in Chicago to give your dog whiskey. We have a feeling Al Capone had something to do with this one.
Hey kids, it’s not only not cool to sell your parents’ jewelry in Fort Wayne; it’s illegal.
Don’t break the law: Refrain from kissing strangers.
Hold up--is that wine in a teacup? Strictly prohibited in Topeka.
You must bathe at least once a year (what’s that smell?).
Planning the ole pizza delivery prank? Hope you’re up for a $500 fine.
The Christmas spirit is alive in Maine! That is, unless you keep your decorations up past January 14.
The MGM Lion is one thing, but you can’t take your pet lion into the movies in Baltimore.
Candy can’t have more than one percent alcohol. Sorry, no rosé tootsie pops this summer.
Get hurt while robbing a house? In Michigan it’s legal to sue the homeowners.
The government agrees with you: Mosquitoes are officially decreed a public nuisance.
Horses must not be housed within 50 feet of any road. OK, we can live with that.
Single men between 21 and 50 must pay the state an annual $1 tax. It pays to date, people.
In Billings, you can’t have a pet rat. Any way we can make this a Constitutional Amendment?
Hey, if you don’t have a state license, you’re breaking the law (and some fashion rules) if you try to give your daughter a perm.
It’s since been repealed, but you should think twice before taking your camel on the highway.
Mr. Seymour Buts, you better not use an alias to check in to a hotel in New Hampshire.
Stay in the car. You’re literally not allowed to pump your own gas.
Nudity is allowed. Kinda. Your nipples and genitals have to be covered.
No slippers after 10 p.m.
It’s illegal to sing off-key (but keep doing your thing in the shower).
Beer and pretzels cannot be served at the same time.
It’s illegal to get a fish drunk within state lines--this is looking like a sad trend now…
We’d give you a bite of our hamburger, but it’s kinda against the law.
Dirty talk isn’t just dirty; it’s illegal.
Tipsy? Then you might have a hard time finding a minister to marry you.
You probably already knew this, but it’s illegal to bite off a person’s leg.
No work on Sundays. It’s the law.
It’s forbidden to fall asleep in a cheese factory.
There’s a $500 fine for sharing Netflix passwords (oops, we’re in trouble).
It’s since been revoked--thank goodness--but for a while there, you’d pay a $10 fine for milking another person’s cow.
Restaurants may serve alcoholic beverages only with food. Noooooooo.
FYI, it’s illegal to tie your giraffe to a telephone pole.
It’s illegal to tickle women.
If you see Bigfoot, it’s a felony punishment if you harass him.
Roadkill can be eaten for dinner. Yum.
Restaurants are required to put cheese on apple pie--well, it was proposed as a law in 1935, but we fully support it.
Don’t get drunk in a mine, and not only because it could land you with a one-year prison sentence.