Pedro Pascal Has Feelings About *That* ‘Last of Us’ Death—and Honestly, Same

*Warning: Spoilers ahead*

It’s officially a tough week for The Last of Us fans. Sunday’s episode delivered one of the most heartbreaking moments of the series so far: the death of Joel Miller, played by none other than Pedro Pascal. And just like the rest of us, Pascal isn’t exactly ready to say goodbye.

“I’m in active denial,” Pascal told Entertainment Weekly. “I realize this more and more as I get older, I find myself slipping into denial that anything is over.” Same, Pedro. Same.

Though the now-iconic death scene was filmed over a year ago and Pascal knew about Joel’s fate before he even signed on to the project, that didn’t make filming it any easier.

“I was always sidestepping how I really felt,” he said. “In a big way, my experience was coming to an end. I guess that was the strangest thing to step through, because I felt so bonded to everyone on the show—not just Bella [Ramsey], but the entire cast and crew.”

And yeah, the actual scene? Brutal. In the season two episode, titled "Through the Valley," viewers watched in horror as Abby (played by Kaitlyn Dever) exacted her revenge, first shooting Joel in the leg, then fatally stabbing him in the neck as Ellie (Ramsey) looked on helplessly.

Pascal described filming the scene as "dreamlike" and emotionally overwhelming, telling EW, “It was very sad for me and I had such a physical manifestation, a violent mirror of how sad it was for Joel to die.”