You’re probably familiar with the idea of love languages. Coined by marriage counselor and author Gary Chapman, Ph.D., in his book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, the general gist is that everybody communicates love in one of five ways. The key to any romantic partnership, he posits, is being able to speak your partner’s love language. It turns out Chapman didn’t stop at love languages. In another book, The Five Languages of Apology: How to Experience Healing in All Your Relationships, he and counselor Jennifer M. Thomas, Ph.D., define the five apology languages, or the ways you hear and express the words and gestures of apology. Basically, it’s how you give and receive apologies. Read on for how to know which apology language best suits you, and why it even matters in the first place.