41 Things You Have Definitely Thought While Watching “Barefoot Contessa”
Wherein you fantasize about having Ina’s life
After a long day, we have a few go-to ways to wind down and de-stress. There’s happy hour, of course, or a workout class if we’re feeling motivated. But one relaxation method stands above the rest: Watching an episode of Barefoot Contessa with our jealousy radar way, way on. Here’s what goes through our mind each and every time.
1. Everyone shhhhh, Barefoot Contessa is starting!
2. Damn, this theme music is soothing.
3. It’s like elevator music but classier, since it’s set in the Hamptons.
4. Ugh, that kitchen is an actual dream.
5. Maybe some day.
6. But probably not. Because that Viking Range is like $10,000.
8. Except…what if we make the potatoes and buy a rotisserie chicken from Whole Foods?
9. Feel like that might let Ina down.
10. But really, who’s got time to make all of this?
11. And grow all of their own vegetables?
12. And procure high-quality organic vanilla beans from Madagascar?
13. But our imitation vanilla from Trader Joe’s is “OK too”?
14. How easy is that? Not that easy, Ina.
15. OK, rant over.
16. Ina has so many friends.
17. And famous friends.
18. We’ve never prepared such an elaborate meal for anyone.
19. Should we prepare elaborate meals for our friends?
20. Maybe we would if we knew Taylor Swift was coming over.
21. Wait. Why don’t our friends prepare elaborate meals for us?
22. Do Ina’s friends ever cook for her?
23. Do Ina’s friends tell her when she has lemon basil stuck between her teeth?
24. It would be so nice to exclusively wear breezy chambray button-downs.
25. This pizza delivery commercial isn’t worthy of Ina’s time slot.
26. Ina’s voice is so soothing.
27. Does this lady know every employee at every food, flower and home goods purveyor on Long Island?
28. But why aren’t they more excited to be in her presence?
29. Which Food Network personality is Ina better friends with?
30. More importantly, which ones does she hate?
31. (It’s Giada, right?)
32. How on Earth does she measure this stuff by eye?
33. Ooh! Jeffrey’s home!
34. What does this guy do anyway? He’s always away on “business.”
35. We want a love like Ina and Jeffrey’s.
36. How does she make everything look so easy?
37. Where did the name Barefoot Contessa even come from?
38. Is Ina barefoot right now?
39. Can Jeffrey cook?
40. Does Ina ever get tired and just throw a Lean Cuisine in the microwave?
41. No way in hell. She’s INA GARTEN, you fool.