9 Quotes About Pregnancy That’ll Make You Pee Your Maternity Jeans

You’re hungry all the time. Your boobs feel weird. You just cried at an All-State commercial. Pregnancy has its quirks—to say the least. And no one has better relayed that than these nine funny ladies. (Pro tip: Pin them for a rainy day and find more funny quotes on our boards while you’re at it.)

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“Baby brain is real. I should not be permitted to operate heavy equipment, including iPhones.” – Olivia Wilde

“People always say that pregnant women have a glow. And I say it’s because you're sweating to death.” – Jessica Simpson

“Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.”  – Carol Burnett

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“I used to have a terrific flat stomach but now it’s kind of blown out after two giant babies used it as a short-term apartment.” – Amy Poehler

“My baby’s body fat is 2 to 3 percent this week. I’m so jealous.” – Pink

“There’s something very cool yet very creepy about a baby moving inside your belly. Regardless, I’m pretty sure she’s going to be a gymnast.” – Kelly Clarkson


“The baby hasn’t even come out yet and I am already so resentful towards my husband. Especially when he asks me to do stuff around the house. ‘Hey, can you wash the dishes?’ ‘I am not doing jack s#%t anymore; I’m busy making an eyeball!’” – Ali Wong

“Being pregnant was the healthiest I’ve ever been in my life. Except for the cupcakes.” – Ashlee Simpson

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“Pregnancy. It’s just like a constant hangover.” – Ellie Kemper