ComScore

53 Hilarious Mother’s Day Quotes to Brighten Any Mama’s Day

Your mom has done a lot for you over the years. She taught you how to apply eyeliner, consoled you after those tough breakups and is always willing to whip up your favorite mac and cheese every time you ask. Needless to say, your mother absolutely deserves a day that’s all about her—replete with flower arrangements and a robust Mother's Day brunch. In honor of her special day, here are 53 Mother's Day quotes about mom and motherhood that are sure to resonate. (There are even some real LOLs from Tina Fey and Serena Williams.)

The 63 Best Mother's Day Gifts for Every Type of Mom


PureWow

1. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." – Calvin Trillin

PureWow

2. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out." – Erma Bombeck

PureWow

3. "If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'keep away from children'.” – Susan Savannah

PureWow

4. "Mama does everything for the baby, who responds by saying, ‘Da-da’ first." – Mignon McLaughlin

PureWow

5. “Maybe it’s just a daughter’s job to piss off her mother.” – Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

PureWow

6. “Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe

PureWow

7. "Once you're a mom, you're always a mom. It's like riding a bike, you never forget." Taraji P. Henson

PureWow

8. “The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.” – Lane Olinghouse

PureWow

9. “Over the years I have learned that motherhood is much like an austere religious order, the joining of which obligates one to relinquish all claims to personal possessions.” – Nancy Stahl

PureWow

10. “Honey, I’m Your Mother. It’s My Job To Strong-arm People Into Seeing How Amazing You Are.” — Beverly Goldberg From the Goldbergs

PureWow

11. "Ah, babies! They're more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts." – Tina Fey

PureWow

12. "Mom, I Love You, Even Though I’ll Never Accept Your Friend Request."

PureWow

13. "No one told me I would be coming home in diapers, too." – Chrissy Teigen

PureWow

14. "I've conquered a lot of things ... blood clots in my lungs — twice ... knee and foot surgeries ... winning Grand Slams being down match point ... to name just a few, but I found out by far the hardest is figuring out a stroller!" – Serena Williams

PureWow

15. "I always say if you aren't yelling at your kids, you're not spending enough time with them." – Reese Witherspoon

PureWow

16. "I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them." – Phyllis Diller

PureWow

17. "Thank you for not telling my sisters that I’m your favorite."

PureWow

18. "Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! (And while I have you, quick apologies for ages 13-21.)"

PureWow

19. "A mother is the person you can always call to see how long chicken lasts in the fridge."

PureWow

20. "Dear Mom, Thank you for keeping all the bad stuff I did from Dad."

PureWow

21. “Being a mom has made me really tired and so happy.” – Tina Fey

PureWow

22. "Silence is golden. Unless you have kids. Then silence is just suspicious."

PureWow

23. “Parenting is f**king hard.” – Adele

PureWow

24. "Motherhood. It takes patience, humor and a lot of wet towelettes."

PureWow

25. "It’d be cool if my kids could make something I actually want. Like a bottle of wine out of macaroni."

PureWow

26. “She taught me that fear is not an option.” – Diane Von Furstenberg, on her mom

PureWow

27. "Mom: I love you and your super long voicemails."

PureWow

28. "Every day I wake up and think: How on Earth did I become this much like my mother?"


PureWow

29. "Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out."

PureWow

30. “My Mother Used To Say: The Older You Get, The Better You Get. Unless You’re A Banana.” — Rose Nylund From golden Girls

PureWow

31. "The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink."

PureWow

32. “It’s not easy being a mom. If it were easy, fathers would do it.” – Betty White

PureWow

33. "I’ve learned to use meditation and relaxation to handle stress. Just kidding, I’m on my third glass of wine."

PureWow

34. "Motherhood: Feeding them as a baby and then through most of their twenties."

PureWow

35. "If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way your mom told you to do it from the start."

PureWow

36. "Motherhood: Powered by love. Sustained by wine."


Twenty20/PureWow

37. “The majority of my diet is made up of foods that my kids didn't finish." — Carrie Underwood

Twenty20/PureWow

38. “All those clichés, those things you hear about having a baby and motherhood—all of them are true. And all of them are the most beautiful things you will ever experience." — Penelope Cruz

Twenty20/PureWow

39. “You know how once you have kids you never ever pee by yourself again? At least one of them is always in there with you at all times.” — Jennifer Garner

Twenty20/PureWow

40. “There’s something really empowering about going, ‘Hell, I can do this! I can do this all!’ That’s the wonderful thing about mothers, you can because you must, and you just do.” — Kate Winslet

Twenty20/PureWow

41. “My favorite part about being a mom, I mean it’s so corny, but no matter how tired you are, it’s complete bliss. No matter what.” — Khloé Kardashian

Twenty20/PureWow

42. “If I wasn't at work, I just wanted to stay home and party with my little man—and by 'party' I mean, of course, endless rounds of 'Itsy Bitsy Spider.” — Olivia Wilde

Twenty20/PureWow

43. "Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we've set aside enough money to pay for our kids' therapy.” — Michelle Pfeiffer

PureWow

44. “Why don't kids understand that their nap is not for them but for us?” — Alyson Hannigan

Twenty20/PureWow

45. “Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years of your life, you will have a sticky purse.” — Nia Vardalos

PureWow

46. "‘I don't think so mommy!’ is what my child said after, ‘Can you please pick up the popcorn you threw all over?’" — Anna Faris

PureWow

47. “Usually the triumph of my day is, you know, everybody making it to the potty.” —Julia Roberts

PureWow

48. “My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” — Mark Twain

Twenty20/PureWow

49. “If evolution really works, how come Mothers only have two hands?” — Milton Berle

PureWow

50. “There Are No Rules In This House; I’m Not Like A Regular Mom, I’m A Cool Mom.” — Mrs. George From mean Girls

Twenty20/PureWow

51. “My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.” — Buddy Hackett

Twenty20/PureWow

52. “When your mother asks, ‘Do you want a piece of advice?’ it’s a mere formality. It doesn’t matter if you answer yes or no. You’re going to get it anyway.” — Erma Bombeck

Twenty20/PureWow

53. “I didn't fully wrap my head around the fact that there would be a person at the end of it. I read endlessly about pregnancy and what to eat and what not to eat. And then I sort of prepared not at all for the actual baby.” — Ellie Kemper