You and your husband just got home from a long day of work. You picked the kids up and have to get them in the bath, but you also need to do some prep work for dinner. As you head to bath time, you ask your husband if he can get started on the meal. He agrees. But when you come back downstairs, you find that not only is the kitchen an absolute disaster, but the vegetables that were supposed to be sautéing are entirely scorched. “I’m just not as good at it as you are,” your husband laments. And just like that, it’s your job again. This, friends, is an example of weaponized incompetence.
If you’ve been on TikTok (or Instagram Reels) in the past few months, you’ve likely seen weaponized incompetence discussed a lot. Normally, it’s a video of a heterosexual couple where the woman does the vast majority of the work and the husband is apparently clueless about how to do, well, everything. To learn more, we checked in with Alison LaSov, Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and CEO of Advekit, a platform that helps match people to therapists.