As an astrologer, I try not to get so caught up in astrological clichés. I know stubborn Geminis, meticulous Pisces and Sagittarians who have never taken a vacation. But sometimes, something is a cliché because...it’s true. After years of working with clients and (especially) giving friends pro-bono advice, there are certain yearnings, musings and milestones that come up like clockwork for every sign. For the celebration of Aries season—and know I write this with love, my Aries friends—here are two phrases from Aries that never fail to make me cringe (and three that I’ll get behind 1000 percent).
2 Phrases an Astrologer Never Wants to Hear an Aries Say (& 3 She Lives for)
2 Phrases I Never Want to Hear an Aries Say
1. “So, I’m doing this 90-day cleanse...”
An Aries never does anything half-assed. So, when a ram friend comes to me saying she’s about to start a cleanse or a detox—whether that’s Whole 30, taking a break from smoking weed or trying out veganism—I know she’s serious. The question is: for how long? The cleanse always starts out super intense with constant updates on her progress, notes that she’s feeling a “refreshed sense of self” and even a sticker reward system (“When I get ten stickers, then I’m letting myself buy those boots on sale from ASOS!”). But because she goes so hard, so fast, the effort always comes to a crashing halt around Day 10 (sometimes Day 14 if it’s something simpler like giving up lunch at Chipotle). As cardinal signs, Aries love to start things, but usually gets bored before they finish. It’s best for them to try things out in moderation.
2. “I’ve got a secret.”
Aries are gossips! I have learned so much information about mutual friends and even strangers that are absolutely none of my business from an Aries (or someone with lots of Aries placements) who’s simply feeling chatty. As the first sign of the zodiac, Aries tend to hang onto their pure sense of childhood wonder and curiosity well into adulthood. Though this is usually super charming, it can get them into a lot of trouble when they’re dealing with the wrong person. When I can sense they’ve crossed a line, I try to steer out of the conversation with, “Yes, it’s so fascinating that Jen’s having problems with her boyfriend, but do you think Jen wants me to know that?” Rarely does that tactic work...
3 Phrases I’d Love to Hear an Aries Say
1. “I want to run for office!”
This is something I absolutely love to hear an Aries say. Aries truly are born leaders and have the capacity to make a huge difference in their community—and even on a regional or national level if they put their mind to it. They’re charming, and they fight until they win! Aries are also honest to a fault and aren’t afraid to get their hands dirty. Aries for president!
2. “I’m asking for a raise.”
I’ve never met a lazy Aries, but so often they shy away (yes, you read that correctly) from asking for a raise when they deserve it! Even when they’re working themselves to the bone. A lot of Aries live by the belief that hard work is satisfaction enough, but they also need to be reminded that money is an energy exchange! When we’re not getting enough, we start resenting our work and especially our boss. I love hearing the battle stories of Aries marching into the office and asking for more money, extra vacation days or a promotion. Without fail, once they work up the courage, they always get what they want.
3. “I have Beyoncé tickets.”
No one parties like an Aries. So when a ram tells me she scored tickets to Beyoncé or has the keys to a party boat (with Aries, it happens) and wants me to come along? There’s no answer but a resounding yes! Aries know how to access a certain joie de vivre that a lot of us left behind before begrudgingly entering the adult world of responsibilities. They really just know how to have the most fun. It’s truly an honor to go along with them on any adventure.